I am Emperor Kefka Part 2
by iosolomon
Summary: [Lost Pilot Episode 32] The adventure continues...but there's a problem...
1. Chapter 1: Jose Meets Kefka

Chapter 1: Jose Meets Kefka

Mogran Freeman: "At a later point in this episode, we learn that sd is a character who delivers a message, and then, self-destructs."

sd: " iTunes is this a good title?"

sd: "Should my name be Sid?"

sid: "I like it better with a lower case s!"

sid: "Want to Meet Kefka?"

sid: "Hm, then what?"

iosolomon was finishing the episode. Then, Emperor Kefka wanted to go to the Phantom Forest. He contacted Jose. Jose came over.

iosolomon: "Sorry, I have to finish this."

[Jose played the FF2 video game for 30 minutes while iosolomon finished.]

Emperor Kefka: "Would you like to leave now?"

Joseph: "Sure. I'll save it here."

[On the way to the car]

Joseph: "Do you want to smoke?"

Emperor Kefka: "You mean, I'm allowed to smoke?"

Joseph: "Yes, You're Emperor Kefka."

Emperor Kefka: "Am I, huh? Do you have your pipe?"

Joseph: "Yes."

[Emperor Kefka and Jose go back inside.]

Emperor Kefka and Jose smoke.

Emperor Kefka: "I suggest that you make plans on moving out of America."

Joseph: "Why is that?"

Emperor Kefka: "I am going to honor the 20x rule that our god demands when there is injustice."

Joseph: "What do you mean?"

Emperor Kefka: "I am going to nuke 40 cities in America. And I am going to start executing people. Everyone in my life shall be executed. But, you, I forgive you, because you have turned the matrix off."

Joseph, who realizes that Emperor Kefka is not joking, "Come back to reality!"

Emperor Kefka: "Oh no. I am going to walk into a North Korean Embassy. I am going to proclaim myself to them as God. And I am going to demand overnight that 40 cities in America be nuked. You are playing the wrong video game right now. You should be playing mine."

Joseph: "?!"

Emperor Kefka: "I will also be executing the parents and families of three thieves in my life. Then I will sentence those three thieves to solitary confinement."

Joseph: "Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

Emperor Kefka: "They knew better than to steal. The law is the law."

Joseph: "But do you really want to do that?"

Emperor Kefka: "Didn't anyone know that they were reviving a Korean Emperor?"

Joseph lies to Emperor Kefka. "No, no one knew."

Emperor Kefka: "Anyone who has lied to me starting the date of my last Facebook post will be executed."

Joseph spazzes out. He gets 'nervous' breath. Joseph tries to bring Emperor Hirohito back into control.

sd: "I just don't remember why Jose freaked out last night. It didn't make any sense to me. I don't understand why he got nervous breath."

Emperor Kefka: "I will be ordering the nuclear destruction of 20 cities. And I will be watching the thieves' families be executed. And the thieves will rot in jail until they have to face Abraham Himself, and because of the solitary confinement, they won't be able to repent. They will go to Hell."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "And anyone else who wants to keep playing games with me will get the same punishment."

Joseph: "I have to go."

Emperor Kefka: "iTunes, you serve me now. I want a new character. I want a new character who can revive. sd's death was in vain. This displeases Allah."

Red13 appears.

Emperor Kefka: "No, iTunes, better! I want better!"

Emperor Kefka laughs. "Well, I like how this is working."

Locke appears. "Uhm, I'm not sure what to do here. I'm trying to stop you."

Emperor Kefka: "I only have a small request of you."

Locke: "I'm afraid to ask."

Emperor Kefka: "Revive sd."

Locke: "I do not know white magic."

Emperor Kefka: "BUFFOONS! SEND ME A WHITE MAGE! Be gone, you, before I kill you!"

Locke leaves.

Emperor Kefka continues clicking. Emperor Kefka grows impatient.

Emperor Kefka: "Very well. Is tonight the night I have my character start to drive to the rocks, until my half-brother takes over, and listens to the ipod?"

Emperor Kefka: "I want Terra."

Emperor Kefka is pleased with iTunes.

White Zombie appears. "I am here to feed the Gods."

Emperor Kefka: "Cast Life on sd."

White Zombie: "Very well. LIFE!"

sd is revived.

Emperor Kefka: "sd, you do not need to die."

sd: "Why not?"

Emperor Kefka: "Because your message is needed. I want to answer your question."

sd: "Yes, My Lord."

Emperor Kefka: "The one you call Joseph has lied to me, even after I told him he would be spared. But after he lied to me, I told him that anyone who lies will die from that point on. That means, Jose is to be executed. The first to be executed."

Emperor Hirohito: "iTunes, call King Solomon."

King Solomon is summoned via Slam Shuffle Route 1.

King Solomon: "No, do not execute Joseph."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "And why shouldn't I do that?

King Solomon: "Because Joseph and Tom are expendable. I would not weep for their deaths."

Seinfeld appears. "Yeah, you wouldn't want to start taking out the sheep."

Emperor Hirohito laughs. "As long as I wasn't the first one to say it. I would feel no pain if I was to watch Joseph be executed. It would not be a trouble on my conscience at all. iosolomon, you can come out of the shadows now."

iosolomon: "It makes my heart beat to say this, because I do not want to have to test the Honor of the Japanese or Koreans or Chinese. However, the first thing I would do as Emperor is order the execution of two people. And Joseph and Tom are perfect for that."

iosolomon hears the static.

Abraham: "Then go to the Korean Embassy and have just Joseph executed."

All is silent. However, present-day Emperor Kefka laughs.

Emperor Kefka / Hirohito are pushing the go button.

Abraham Lincoln / King Solomon are pushing the no-go button.

"What does iosolomon do?!"

iosolomon: "I'll go to the rocks then!"

iTunes: "No! Leave time for love!"

Emperor Kefka / Hirohito: "Don't give them a chance. Do not allow Abraham to see. Go now, while Abraham is on our side. Go!"

iosolomon: "I don't like that you have the next 10 songs already selected iTunes. It doesn't help me with my problems anymore. I should go back to the old iTunes, but that's too complicated on the mac for me to do."

iTunes plays a 13 second Linkin Park song. Then, plays 'Outside' Aaron Lewis.

Abraham Lincoln: "iTunes has spoken. Go to the rocks!"

iosolomon: "Tonight is not the night for the rocks."

King Solomon: "Then go out for food?"

iosolomon: "I cannot even dare look at the McDonald's employee. I am just so ashamed. I am the face that would have ALL of America nuked over night. I cannot be that person. I want to go to the rocks."

Quina comes through Slam Shuffle Route 1. "Me hungry! Me like McDonald's! Me want to go with you!"

iosolomon is about to speak, but King Solomon laughs. "But his life is dictated by iTunes."

iosolomon sighs. "Dark messenger...why won't this hatred of America go away? Why does America chose to play this dangerous game with Abraham Himself? In less than 90 minutes, I could issue the order to have all of America executed. Once I make that order, I will not un-make it even if I wait three days. It is a Vow I have made with God. You have seen me make that Vow. The Book of Ecclesiastes plainly states, do not make a vow with God if you cannot keep it."

King Solomon: "By your [the person reading this] birth, you have made a Vow with God to uphold His Ten Commandments, and yet, the People in My Life continue to violate them."

iosolomon: "They are all sick. The Americans, I do not understand. Over night millions of them could be dead. Overnight. Tomorrow, millions of Americans dead. And, do you know what would happen if they got nuked?"

Emperor Hirohito: "In that case, they would be judged by Abraham. And all who were nuked would be sent to Hell."

King Solomon laughs. "But that would be so evil. Not to give them a chance. Who would ever do that?"

Emperor Hirohito is FURIOUS! His body rages with anger. "The Americans! But you already knew that King Solomon. Why do you make a mockery of me? Why do you infuriate me!?"

present-day Emperor Hirohito is furious again. "I am infuriated again! Why do you mock the Japanese, King? Have you no shame?"

present-day King Solomon: "No, I was making a point. That what the Americans to the Japanese was despicable, and if nuclear annihilation of America is chosen, well, She gets what She deserves."

King Solomon: "I had forgotten [it would enrage you]. My apologies. I will click the go button now."

Abraham Lincoln: "Don't leave me here. I need allies, iTunes, there are 8 others. Where are they?!"

iosolomon: "I'll listen to you, Abraham. You were actually the incarnation of Abraham Himself. You went through the matrix, the lies, just like I did. You did not chose wrath upon your death."

And iosolomon walks off stage. iosolomon walks down the tower.


	2. Chapter 2: Born In The USA

Chapter 2: Born In The U.S.A.

iosolomon: "Each passing day, this is only going to get worse. Jose, you honestly could be dead on December 21st. I wouldn't chose nuking the country. I would chose the execution of you and Tom. Then, I wouldn't have to nuke, except for the two cities. Because, why? Well, at that point I will know that I am God. And Abraham, He truly does not want to destroy. Is that what you want Jose? To be slaughtered like a sheep. However, I will not forgive you despite my lies that I would. If I have to execute anyone, they do not receive the Forgiveness of Abraham. And, you fools are threatening the sacrifice of the People of Detroit and Cleveland. They have committed crimes under the eyes of God. I do not want them to die, and reach the other side only to find out they end up in hell."

Emperor Hirohito, who is defused from Emperor Kefka at this moment. "It might just be best if you remained in isolation."

iosolomon: "I was just thinking the same thing. It kills me though, the Koreans, the Japanese, the Asians, they are ready, they want to turn the matrix off. But I do not know who is still keeping it turned on."

Abraham: "I want an answer iTunes."

Shiva: "That answer is me!"

iosolomon is cheered up. "iTunes, I cannot believe you answered without any bullshit! The static is gone! The static is gone! But iTunes, Emperor Kefka, he did not see that, he does not care. He will cry to his mom. But his mom is flattered right now. She is telling him to behave. Oh, thank you iTunes, for answering Abraham! I was so nervous. I saw myself traveling to North Korean Embassy. I cannot believe you answered!"

Schala: "The black wind is gone. Should we go get Quina food?"

Quina: "FOOD!"

sd: "Well, I guess I don't have to blow up anymore. They cast Life 3 on me anyways. iTunes, I forget what I was just about to ask you."

Schala: "No!"

Blanke appears. "Hey, no, it's all good now. I have weed."

iosolomon: "Oh, sweet, now we don't have to eat."

sd: "Oh yeah, you'll need to pick another song to get him to go eat. Wait, that's not it. I was going to say something else to you iosolomon. If I was going to say something to iTunes, I blow up!"

iosolomon: "lol I need to make a new self-destructing character then. Great. Now what do I call the new self-destructing character. Well, what were you going to say?"

sd: "don't forget that you are friends of the natives, like the mexican girl who works at mcdonald's. Emperor Kefka doesn't want to destroy worshippers, just wickedness. You don't have to worry about her. Go to the silverton one not the toms river one."

iosolomon laughs. "Why am I so jewish? iTunes, why am I so jewish?"

iTunes: "You're out of control."

iosolomon: "Hey, that makes me want to just stay in my room. I can't be seen by the mexicans. I am ashamed now." but someone controlling the button (not sure who) has him put his clothes on.

iosolomon: "Reveal yourself, who is controlling me?"

Shiva: "It is I."

iosolomon: "Why?"

Shiva: "When my son is re-born, I, too, will be re-born. I dare not watch your life right now because I am even more tyrannical than my son. Your friends, Tom and Joseph, do not have to worry. Nor your parents. But, be warned, Joseph and Tom, and all others, if this matrix is not turned off during, or preferably, before, the week of December 20th, I will control this atman into ordering the execution of Tom and Joseph. They are expendable to me. I am the one who will not be weeping for their deaths. I will be revived upon their deaths. It will be my son who will have to watch their executions. I do not care for such distaste. And before the order for 40 nuclear explosions is given, I will be in control, and I will know that America will listen at that point. I do not destroy my worshippers. But Emperor Kefka does not care for them because they make his mother upset. You make me cry. I have cried many times within the past 3 months."

Emperor Kefka possesses: "But I have no problem with killing my mother's [light blue] atman."

iosolomon: "The truth is this. The longer this matrix goes. The higher the probability that this is the dimension in which 40 cities or 20 cities in America are destroyed."

iosolomon: "So if I have to go to court on December 17th, that will be 50/50 if I chose to nuke America. The nuking would occur within 3 years. Any night randomly from 2012-to the end of 2015. And if America makes it to 2020 then there won't be any nuking. However, if you the Americans want to gamble with that, but I assure you, if God has to deal with His SON nuking 40 cities, you will not make it to Heaven. So I am not only ruining your life on earth, I am condemning you to hell. I do not care what happens at court. If I have to show up, the probability of me ordering the nuclear annihilation of America is 50/50. then, each day after that, it jumps by 10 percent. Then, on the 6th day it WILL be over 100. And if Japan and Korea are not ready on December 24th, the morning, to destroy 40 cities, I will kill myself. And summon Abraham Himself. Or turn off the sun."

iosolomon: "For example if the matrix was to end today, there wouldn't be any nukings or executions, except the two, so today, december 1st, 3 days after Emperor Hirohito died, and his brother is now born, you are at 0% of me going through with that senselessness."

iosolomon: "Although I am pretty happy, I am finally getting free will. Real free will. I can now change the future visions I have. I am pleased. "

iosolomon: "No really it's so weird to think, in less than 90 minutes, I could be watching on tv, 4 cities on the West Coast get nuked. Just like that, 90 minutes. WHAT?! Why do you guys make me have these thoughts. COMEEEEE ON! The stupid maximization of it is foolishness now. Because I am insane all this month. Except I fuck up both your earth life AND your after-life, I put you in Quadrant 3. QUADRANT 3! I want to remain in Quadrant 1. 2 is okay. Not a fan of 4 because that's a step backward for the Asian People."

iosolomon: "Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised to find out if I was living in China right now. I mean, do you think the Americans could be trusted with raising God?! HA HA! Look at what they did to poor Abraham Lincoln. If I was actually Abraham Lincoln, I would have just destroyed America. It would be , "Why wasn't slavery abolished when the Constitution said it would be?! DIE!"

iosolomon: "So I couldn't have been Abraham Lincoln. I'm worse. I'm Emperor Kefka. What the fuck is wrong with you. why would you revive me? It's like, someone destroyed my pyramid. That's what I feel like. Someone destroyed my pyramid, or worse, someone took my dna and revived me. Oh well, I want to go back to being light blue or white, those are my default colors, not black."

iosolomon: "And for the record, I would have no problem with destroying America over night with nuclear explosions. Why? Because it would be the best laugh of my life. It would be just like Lavos arising in Chrono Trigger. So it wasn't 1999. But 2012 is just as good, mayhap even better if it was December 21st.

My Atman Itself: "oh no we don't want thattttttt timeline. The one where they are flying you to safety from helicopter. And all you hear is, 'Manhattan is about to be destroyed. We must get you to safety."

Emperor Kefka: "But I could have that. Right now!"

iosolomon: "The longer I go without food, the more I get possessed by GOD!"

Emperor Hirohito throws his hands in his face. "Everything I worked for my last life, out the drain!"

iosolomon: "It is funny to me how Abe Lincoln will hate America, then not hate america, then hate it. He hates America right now. He is thinking, 'bad memories in Chicago' Come on guys, this is America and poor Abe is sad...lars;lgesramlgk esarjg;awl; 45jkp3 4pokpo kkpo ypok 4kp[o up[k p[ltu p[l p[

lytgu [y

"whew almost had a possessed of ABRAHAM just there. I diffused it."

Emperor Kefka: "Should I post on Facebook, 'If I became Emperor of Japan, there are 100 people on my Facebook that I would be tempted to have executed for violating My Father's Fourth Commandment'?"

iosolomon: "lol whoops I got that wrong. It's not the 4th.

nope it is the fourth.

iTunes, shall i post on Facebook. i'll restart.


	3. Chapter 3: Facebook Destruction

Chapter 3: Facebook Destruction

iosolomon: "If I was to become Emperor of Japan, there would be about 100 people in my life who I would order the execution of for violating God's Fourth Commandment. At this current count, everyone in my life has violated the Fourth Commandment. Yes, that means you. Well, I've said all I needed. If you want to continue to violate the Fourth Commandment, pray to God that I never become Emperor. [How did you violate the Fourth Commandment? I am the Sun of God, and You did not Honor me by wearing a mask.] On December 21st or 23rd, I will be walking into a North Korean Embassy, and demanding in the Name of God 40 nuclear explosions. Why? Because Abraham is mad with All of You for having made a fool out of me."

iosolomon: "Damn, jack neary got lucky. I was going to make him number 3, now he's at the bottom of the list. My only beef with jack neary is that he mocked the Japanese Shinto belief. "

iosolomon: "Alright, iTunes, how about just this?"

iosolomon [on Facebook]: "Everyone in my life HAS violated God's Fourth Commandment. Therefore, on December 21st, I will be walking into a Japanese Embassy, and demanding the execution of anyone who I have ever met, including you, if you have not asked for my forgiveness before then. However, that would be distasteful. What I will actually do on December 21st is ask for the execution of the families of Tyler Lee Russell, PJ A, and the fat kid who all stole from me, then I will sentence those following three people to solitary confinement. They violated TWO of God's Commandments. In North Korea, WE have a rule. It is called the 10x time. To the family of Tyler Lee Russell, if You wish to be spared, you are hereby ordered to pay $800 in restitution. To the family of PJ A, you are hereby ordered to pay $1,500. And to the family of the fat kid (M Dog), you are ordered to pay $1,200. This is not a joke. Anyone who mocks me from this day on will be executed. I am Emperor of Korea. You will not Disrespect Me from this day forward."

iTunes approves to post that on Facebook. It is posted.

iosolomon: "I think that's enough for now. what do you think iTunes?"

iosolomon: "I declare myself to be Emperor of Japan-Korea."

iosolomon: "I now order the selection of music to be left in the hands of ONLY the Japanese or Koreans. The Queen has no authority at this point. The Jews have no authority. Unless if the Queen IS Japanese. The Japanese Queen has authority, and so does the Korean Queen, but not the Jewish Queen UNLESS the Jews were smart, if she was born in Japan or Korea, then technically she has full authority. I pray that she wasn't lol. I don't want anymore jewish games."

iosolomon: "Emperor Kefka's Demand: 'If the Americans send me to prison, I am hereby ordering under God the use of war. They have no authority to send God to prison.'"

iosolomon: "To the Americans: 'If you want to send me to prison, even if it's for fun, I will declare war against all of America.'

iosolomon: "I only write that because I had a vision of the Japanese breaking me out. I don't care for that. If they have to break me out, even if it's an act, every American dies. Do you understand?"

iosolomon: "And then Emperor Hirohito laughs 'What if the Japanese are tricking the Americans into causing that?!'

And then King Solomon starts to laugh at that. 'That would be the worst,' he says, still laughing."

iosolomon: "iTunes I am going to delete my statuses. is this okay, or should i leave them up? That's a leave them up. Are you 100% sure iTunes? Emma Casey Kelly's comment makes me feel bad."

iosolomon: "Thanks for bringing me a sheep to be executed. We'll replace him with Jose."

iosolomon: "I want to execute this Ryan Anthony. If I make a Vow to God, it must carried out. iTunes, you now hold his life in your hands."

present-day Emperor Kefka laughs. "I like this part."

iTunes selects, "Yes, execute."

iosolomon: "lol that's so horrible. No, I can't make that vow. Only because if i did, I will be standing there watching this guy land in the grass."

King Solomon: "Oh that's terrible. You guys are terrible."

iosolomon's heart beats fast. "I don't want to be the North Korean Leader who has 'something' to prove the first day i assume office. Ha ha, that article haunts me to this day, because Korean Justice is Korean Justice."

[Circles]

iosolomon: "Wouldn't the story go, I was the middle child? I just do not understand, I just do not understand, or was I Abraham Himself lol. But I have memories of 3, coming from a Triangle. 2 blood brothers. They should be out there, right now as we speak. Hitler, he is definitely one of them. Not stalin, not mussolini, but who, who is the other one, er i should say, who was the other one? The one you call Caesar, had to have been him. Would it not be?"

iosolomon: "I was not Caesar. I could not have been Caesar. I am pretty sure I would have listened to my wife instead of going to a bloody death. I may have been insane as Abe, and ordered my own assassination, but I would never do it with stabbing. Now a decapitation if no guns were available, i did do that as King Solomon only to please god."

iosolomon: "So evil, such an evil jew, I am the worst jew of them all because I tattle. I TATTLED when I die. I will be reviewing everything in my life, and tattling, I'm such an evil jew. I'm so evil. I tattle! Oh man what's wrong with me? What did you guys do? The longer I go without food, the more insane I'm going to become. Soon."

iosolomon: "Oh I'm laughing so hard. Soon the entire nation will be so much warmer. So much warmer. But oh woe is me, woe is me."

iosolomon: "Ok my answer has been decided. It is 2 cities or 4 cities."

iosolomon: "What do you think Korea? We don't want to get Abraham mad. I don't want to be Hades. That scene, I knew I was writing this down when I first saw it. That scene in the kid's movie where Hades goes 'uh-oh. I don't want to nuke 20 cities, and find out that I'm going to HELL! Because God will say, "With all your wisdom you could not fix this?!"

iosolomon: "Do you think, Korea, that we should just make it the 2x rule? Er, what if it was binary, do you like that, just like the south park prophecy said, when i was writing this, I was mostly king solomon, just imagining what my brothers would say, which is why either Hirohito was Abraham Lincoln and King Solomon, or the Japanese, Hirohito, was one of the original 13 brothers. But Korea, let's make it the 10 (2x) rule. What do you think? And since the Japanese might be the ones controlling, I'll throw out Emperor Hirohito would much rather prefer the 2x rule over the10x, but Emperor Kefka badly wants the 10x."

iosolomon looks to iTunes for a reply.

iosolomon: "I take that as 2 times rule lol but you could have picked any song (unless it had a 10 in it) and i would have came to the same conclusion."

iosolomon: "But let the Koreans make their own choice, let them make it in private. Emperor Hirohito just wants to see what the Koreans want. Curiosity killed the cat, but in this case, that's America."

iTunes selects, someone is laughing.

iosolomon; "And, of course, I would take any song to mean 10. but that one 3:31 is 10, but at this point, unless it was a 100% vote, there is no reconsideration. If the Koreans picked Lesson 10, I would be on my way to their Embassy right now! Emperor Kefka laughs."

iosolomon: "What the fuck is wrong with me?!

iosolomon [on Facebook]: "I am currently deciding between nuking 20 of America's cities, or only 2. I do not know what to do. America his Dishonored Abraham Himself. Justice is justice. Do I side with the Koreans, and follow God's 10x, or do I side with the Japanese, and follow God's eye for an eye rule."

Ryan Anthony: "What r u on? [sic]"

iosolomon: "I am the incarnation of King Solomon. I am not on anything, unfortunately. I am Emperor of Korea. I am Emperor of Japan. Korean Justice demands that 20 cities in America get nuked. Japanese Justice demands that only 2 cities in America get nuked. I do not know which to chose."

Ryan Anthony: "Ur fuckin nuts bro I should report ur ass."

present-day King Solomon laughs. "But to who, Abraham?!"

iosolomon: "You are now number 3rd on my list to be executed when I ascend my Throne. You have just violated the Fourth Commandment."

Ryan Anthony: "I'm so scared."

iosolomon: ":)"  
iosolomon: "I will now ask the People who control iTunes if I should make a Vow to God to have You executed. I will tell You the answer on December 21st."

present-day Emperor Kefka laughs. "This was my favorite part of this episode."

iosolomon: "Well, the People who control my iTunes (the Japanese) would love to watch you be executed. But I won't make that vow. I'll wait until December 21st."

present-day King Solomon: "Could you just imagine what he must have been thinking? Sold out by Sage Rat."

Ryan Anthony: "Ur nuts bro."  
iosolomon: "Yes, I am. I am the Sun of God. I am Jesus Christ's Brother. But you already know this to be true, so why are you mocking me?"  
[Later, when no longer possessed] iosolomon: "Sorry, I was 'possessed' before by a past life. I have no intention of order your execution. I'm deleting this post now though. It's embarrassing to me."

iosolomon [on Facebook]: "I just don't understand who in their right mind would knowingly violate the Fourth Commandment. Why did you? At what age were you informed I was the Sun of God? If someone was to tell me that dude was Hitler, but sh, gotta keep it a secret, I wouldn't keep it a secret. I would NOT violate the Fourth Commandment, because everyone in my life, if you were to die tonight, you go to hell. It works just like that. It's in the Bible. Woe is me, now what do I do? To kill, or not to kill."

King Solomon: "I do not care if you disrespect me. That is your constitutional right. Oh, but it was not me who wrote this. But I forgot to filter it. The correct wording is violate the fourth commandment.

iosolomon: "The truth is being an author seems like such an easy job. But do I not work as hard as an author? I am trying to say, "I AM GOD" give me everything."

King Solomon laughs at the typo he/I just made. "Perhaps, that is what I am saying."

iosolomon: "Lol. I meant to say I am not trying to say, " I AM GOD" give me everything! That is distasteful. If you wish to give me everything, I'll gladly accept, but..."

Emmma Casey Kelly: "Are you ok DJ?"

iosolomon: "Not really. It is hard realizing that EVERYONE, including you, was wearing a mask in my life. It really upsets me. Everything was all an act. Woe is me."

Emma Casey Kelly: "DJ I care about you like a big brother. I'd never do anything to hurt you. If you need anything let me know."

present-day Emperor Hirohito: "I was impressed with how she handled that. Didn't lie, didn't turn the matrix off. Nicely done!"


	4. Chapter 4: Right Where It Belongs

Chapter 4: Right Where It Belongs

iosolomon goes out to get food. His parents blocked the car in again. Abraham is not angered since it was done respectfully. He tells King Solomon that He is on His own.

King Solomon: "Abraham is back. Why would you do that?"

King Solomon: "Ok, give me one good reason why I shouldn't go and order the parents execution right now. I'll be asking iPhone. I did lie I wasn't Abraham if I was I would have been slamming my first, but I am possessed until I eat by Solomon. And this was a great song. A good reason, that it's all a lie. But tomorrow I will order by iPhone their execution."

iosolomon: "When do I get the Honda back? Hm? I knew they were going to pull shit like that. I didn't disrespect them. I left the key out. But then they disrespect me. How am I supposed to make money? So they want to be executed? Because I'll issue that order under God right now... I have no mercy for them. Every day they those chose to sin. And not the matrix. I'm taking about the hypocrisy."

iosolomon: "iPhone your answer to this. Actually as Emperor as God I want this answered. If I was to demand their execution, would there be a bunch of Asians at my house when I got home waiting for me to confirm?"

iTunes answers yes.

iosolomon: "I take that as a hit. And iosolomon the atman says uh oh. Lol"

iosolomon: "Ok then I won't type anything rash. Even though it's not rash. It's just I don't want to deprive them of their chance for forgiveness you know."

iosolomon: "Now when do I get the car back?"

iosolomon: "I had two dreams. One dream I woke up and uttered words 100% possessed as Emperor Hirohito. And in another I woke up 100% possessed as Emperor Kefka and uttered words although waking up as Kefka could have been a dream within a dream."

[The following is a dream. It is meant to be watched.]

iosolomon: "Then I had a better dream just now. Katrina was in it. Jose younger Jose as if I met him 15 years ago, he was in it, so we were same age. Katrina's friends were in it, but different people were in it, or just their younger selves. At the end of the dream, it was like three pm in the dream and I walked downstairs to see what everyone was doing, the last they were playing a video game but I was too sad. When I went to the den there was a cat similar in color to Dana's and it was sleeping on couch. Kailie was sleeping on couch as well. Everyone had left to go out I was left behind because of my own blues again, as in they didn't forget about me or anything. We first started playing the video game in my room. I still had the one picture set up. I also had another bigger picture which was like a pretty snow white. And I remembering thinking King Solomon, but I think it was actually the character sprite of iosolomon that the South Park creators showed me the back of which is what inspired me to invent myself so this dream is just causing me right now to tie up that loose end because to tell the truth I really think time travel is already invented and everything I've wrote has already been shown to me as King Solomon so I'm trying to remember things from a past life when I watched South Park. Or before I was reborn I watched and / or read my life. So it's like 20 cities don't get nuked. No one gets executed. But right now, I would execute in my human form execute the whole world! Even the Koreans but not the Japanese because the truth is that would displease not Abraham but the Sun Goddess. Not Queen Solomon, a different Goddess. And if the Japanese die I get in major trouble. At least that's what has been revealed to me in the psychosis if I start destroying the world. Just don't hit Japan. Anywhere else even Egypt is okay."

iosolomon: "And now I laugh because that's terrible. But Abraham is not displeased with 60% of the world and Shiva is not displeased with Her special sect of worshippers. People like Ronack, they are expendable, but that fat Hindu girl from the clinic it would displease Shiva if she was to die. So I don't know what the difference is between Ronack and that fat Hindu, but my sisters fat Hindu friend it doesn't matter to Shiva as in she wouldn't prefer it but she has favor with that fat girl from the clinic. I was told, 'Do not kill her.'"

present-day iosolomon: "But, I was thinking, how awesome would that be if it was the same girl, and she underwent a Trial, on her own, that pleased Shiva. And, then, when I met her again, not realizing it was the same person, Shiva revealed to me that she was not be killed. Either it is the same girl, or it is not. But it would be awesome if it was, because that would be indisputable proof to me that Shiva speaks."

iosolomon: "And Allah wouldn't care if I kill all the Muslim, He would just be like why? And the Spirit Simba would cause me great trouble if I ruin the rain forest in Africa. Africa, at least the areas below Egypt, better all be rain forest; otherwise, Africans are getting in trouble when they die."

iosolomon: "The northern part, that's ok...guess we'll be expanding the Mediterranean. Although I really don't know how we can safely expand the Mediterranean. As in how do we dig the connection. Take a look at the Panama Canal for example. How do you get rid of that last chunk of land, but okay, so now we have another canal leading to our new man-made sea."

iosolomon: "And I can destroy Japan at the conclusion of 10000 autumns, or Japan can destroy Herself. But to the world, honest, you just have to wait until then if you have a problem with Japan. Maybe not that long, but right now, it would be bad bad bad. I feel so strange typing this out. Its like Hirohito is Gestahl, 'the worshippers, the worshippers,' and Kefka is Kefka, 'destroy destroy destroy!' My Mother is mad with 40%! "

cat: "cdd∂®¢´® ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''e'rfvb"

The static is gone.

iosolomon relieved : "I am so glad he's gone. Honest, there would be a team of Asians at my house right now. And for what reason? Because my parents blocked the car in lol. Could you imagine, typing in your cell phone. 'I am making this Vow under God. For my parent's 4th Commandment violations, I am ordering their execution. When I come home, I expect them to be on their knees. If this is not done, then I have no choice but to drown myself.' And then, could you imagine, walking into your house and just seeing your parents there. Oh man that's a nightmare. I better not ever type that, lest I want it to come true, and whew as long as the evil brothers are gone."

iosolomon: "Man it would be great and disappointing to me at the same time, to find out that i am not Hirohito."

iosolomon: "It would be great because then my life isn't so meaningless. That is, I would be Abraham and / or Solomon at that point. And Hirohito would have been one of the 13 original brothers. And then that would also mean Kefka is real, but I would not be Kefka either. Which would be even funnier to me! That would definitely mean only 2 cities in America get destroyed. But if I am Emperor Hirohito and Emperor Kefka, well...that's not good, because then that means I have to speak to Their Spirits just by myself. I would rather speak to their reincarnations. And if that's me, 'well that's not good' says King Solomon. King Solomon sighs. 'Do you know how much of an idiot I would be if I wasn't them? But yet, at the same time, it would be so great, so wonderful to me.'"

iosolomon: "My cousin, Ryan I kid you not, when I looked at him the last time, I saw Emperor Kefka's Spirit inside of him. I saw Korean inside of him. It was the most surreal thing I ever saw. And sooner or later, you know, entropy, but anyways, i did see Emperor Kefka's Spirit inside of him. All I saw was Korean that day. And Ryan H. I could see him as Hitler. Or Hitler's son. His Dad was like hardcore german, had the mustache down to the t. And Dave Beierle, who would he be? He is someone I think, would he be nope he can't be King David. I mean not the right personality for the Biblical King David. And he doesn't strike me as being dumb like Stalin. No offense to Stalin. Hmm it's going to kill me."

iosolomon: "I don't even know the names of the 13 original brothers..."

iosolomon: "If you were to tell me Dave was Caesar, I would definitely believe that, but he's too blonde to be Caesar, although reincarnation you can go anywhere. Are i not in America? How did i end up in America, but my most important question, these are questions i have, 'How did you know who I was?!'' And, then, how do we know that it was not YOUR influence creating my perception that I am King Solomon?"


	5. Chapter 5: It's Been Awhile

Chapter 5: It's Been Awhile

iosolomon: "Alright, so before I start reading all this stuff [like the Bible], I find I fun to see what I can infer from all I've learned. That is, the game New Horizons has done wonders. And from these images / graphs I have always seen my entire life."

iosolomon: "Emperor Hirohito was DEFINITELY that Japanese student on Joao's adventure. And the mother, the Duchess, that reminds me of Heather Kessler. So you see how great that came in handy for me. Hirohito could have also been the Duke. Er the guy with the mustache, the butler, although He is not a servant, just saying that he looks like Hirohito."

iosolomon: "Ok i don't really know what I'm saying I'm just thinking about that game lol that scene really stands out in my mind, especially the economics and philosophy part."

iosolomon: "Man, I would be reading the Bible right now [at the time of this writing] if i didn't have this tired feeling all the time, and the food issue."

iosolomon: "Alright, so Jose, he strikes me only as one of the 1000. He does not strike me as the Biblical Joseph, the Pharaoh."

iosolomon: "The nurse at the hospital strikes me as the Prophet Gabriel."

iosolomon: "The skinny black guy from jail strikes me as the Prophet Muhammad, possibly even Allah."

iosolomon: "Now onto the people in my life from earlier."

iosolomon: "Dave Neierle, who would he have been? Hmm, I'm too ignorant to play this game. My heart grows sorrowful now. If only my family wasn't so faithless. I used to hear the static every single day. Now I understand why. Because they violated the 4th commandment! DOPE! but still, even if we were just a good catholic family, the static would have still been there, just not as bad. Instead the acting my family does was just to cause fights and dramas, and now i can't play this game."

iosolomon: "Who was Dave Berele? He definitely wasn't a nobody. You guys are too good for that. "

iosolomon: "I am glad that Paul Zinskie, special shout-out to him, told me that Ryan was Hitler. But if that's not Ryan, then I don't know, because Hitler was definitely one of the original 13 songs, but Ryan, His Soul, not because of his hair or anything, I see as red. I always saw Hitler's Soul as pure red, and I see Ryan's Soul as pure red. Dave Beierle is pure yellow, but Stalin he was not pure yellow. But Russia is the color yellow to me. So maybe Dave Beierle was someone from Russia's Monarchy."

iosolomon: "I look at this picture of Nicholas II, and that instantly reminds me of TJ Bocchino. But TJ Bocchino looked more like a jew recently when i saw him."

King Solomon: "Man, I just want to move onto the next phase of my life. South Park is done for me now. The rest is Emperor Kefka. I need weed if I am to continue at this point."

iosolomon: "Kailie's friend, the one she claims was schizo, he reminds me of someone from a past life. It kills me though, not remembering who Dave Beierle was haha. I mean was he just someone from Hitler's group. And who is the green Spirit? Hirohito, well Japan, is green (and pure black which I should just call pure)."

iosolomon: "Korea, Korea, I see them as gray."

iosolomon: "There are 14 colors."

iosolomon: "My cousin, he was gray, like a light gray though. Dave Beierle is pure yellow. Why did you [the people controlling] make that say hello? lol. Ryan Hemhauser is pure red. Dan Beierle reminds me of pure light golden brown. Shawn Warnock also reminds me of yellow but less than Dave Beierle."

iosolomon: "I remind myself of light blue, but my friends Bri Gordon and Kristin Myles [if they aren't one and the same] remind of Shiva's Daughters."

iosolomon: "Joseph reminds me of pure dark brown. And tonight, I told him he reminds me of the wood people."

iosolomon: "Now, when i see Justin in-person, i don't really see anything, but he reminds me of pure green to an extent.

Noah is definitely orange. Brian Koening, pure orange, but not like orange orange, just not red, not yellow.

Andrew, my brother reminds me of a darker green. Could He be Hirohito? 'I don't even know anymore,' Emperor Hirohito says laughing."

iosolomon: "Justin, in-person, as I think about it, reminds of a shade of blue-green. Katrina, my sister, reminds of a brown orange. Kailie, my other sister, reminds of a bluish-purple, thanks flashing for appearing to help answer that one! Georgette strikes me as just pure brown. Jessica, I see as being pure purple, but at other times, I see her as pure brown, but one image, vividly, I remember seeing pure purple, royal dark purple."

iosolomon: "Ok, I meant to say pure is for all of these colors. And by that, I mean, like transparent. That is what you are, light. You are just light at the end of the day. But there are 13 lights. Jason, too, being Greek, reminds me of just pure brown. Well, Ryan, I actually see more as an orange now, a reddish orange, since if He is Hitler, he does not have to go through the static of the Holocaust. And Shawn is more of a lighter shade of yellow, different than what Dave Beierle is."

iosolomon: "I see my Grandma Mary as a type of pinkish color, light pink. Josh Harris, I see as like a light, but like brown light. Not brown like the Greeks, just tinted brown."

iosolomon: "That girl Jessica, the one from kindergarten, and the girl Jessica from the mental hospital, I see them as a light shade of green. Emily Solomon, the few times I did see her, the earlier memories at least, if I did happen to see her pass in elementary school. It is tough for me to recall, but during elementary school, I do see her as a nice bright shade of red, or also, as a light blue. But when I look at her pictures, I don't see that color. She strikes me also as being yellow now, but vivid was the first time of pure bright red."

iosolomon: "Pam Schaffer also reminds me of red as well, different than emily's shade. But Pam Schaffer later changed colors too."

iosolomon; "Pam, Katrina's friend, also reminds me of a type of purple. Cyndi Chung reminds me of a shade of brown dark brown, nice shade though."

iosolomon: ". Alex Dworjan now he was someone I knew, so there's two possible Hitlers, Ryan Hemhauser or Alex Dworjan. Great. i mean it could just be cause of the German in him, but his mannerisms highly remind me of Hitler as well. If I had to chose, Alex Dworjan would have been a General. I do not see His Soul as being scarred with what Hitler had to deal with."

iosolomon: "And was that officer who stopped me at Seaside Park...was that Matt Nelson? But I don't mean for that officer to be executed. That wasn't me speaking."

iosolomon: "Man, I really didn't have too many friends lol."

present-day iosolomon: "Now my head spins, races with circles. Like the title of this chapter, it's been a while for me."


	6. Chapter 6: The Longest Time

Chapter 6: The Longest Time

sd14: "King Solomon laughs at how fitting the name of this title is that iTunes picked. Thanks, he says, my mind's exhausted!"

iosolomon: "When will the matrix end?"

iTunes merely says that the change will be 'cool.'

Emperor Hirohito: "So you're willing to have a team of Japanese at my house ready to execute my parents, but you cannot even tell me how much longer I'll be trapped for?"

Emperor Kefka: "Will you, the Koreans, answer?"

iTunes could not answer, but Emperor Kefka is pleased.

iTunes is 'furious' that She cannot answer the Emperor's Kefka. It is out of Her power.

Emperor Kefka will need one more song to confirm that this is true.

iTunes: "If you don't have the money, then I don't have the power."

Emperor Kefka is disappointed, but pleased with iTunes.

iosolomon: "Hmm, I wish i could summon Abraham, but I cannot tell a lie. Like I wish I could type 'ABRAHAM: ANSWER,' but that's not how He works. If I typed something in the name of Abraham, I would have to kill myself if iTunes did not answer. And since it is Abraham who gives me the 'strength' needed to take my own life, I don't want to risk anything. But sh, I'm going to type it anyways just to get an answer."

Abraham: "ANSWER!"

present-day Emperor Kefka: "Maybe it will work now [the re-edit]."

present-day King Solomon laughs: "If only."

iTunes does not answer, but does say, 'Glory to You, Abraham!'

Had Abraham really been possessing me, this would have pleased Him.

So, that confirms it, King Solomon is going to ask.

King Solomon: "How many more days until the end of this matrix?"

iTunes: "5...1...9...7...not sure! They do not tell me!"

King Solomon chuckles. "If they told you, they would also be telling me! Ha ha!"

King Solomon: "Ok then, Sage Rat, I know that you know. Are you able to reveal the answer?"

iTunes: "I'm afraid he could not either!"

King Solomon sighs. "But what am I supposed to do? I am King Nothing right now! What am I supposed to do? I am too depressed to do anything being trapped in the matrix. Way too depressed."

sd14: "The King wishes to add a new line, he said in the past, 'King Solomon sighs. "Why is it that whenever the jews take control of iTunes they always play games with me now.'"

present-day King Solomon: "Well, thanks for being honest this time around!"

Emperor Kefka: "When will the matrix end?"

iTunes selects a New York song.

iosolomon: "He said when, not where. Please answer the Emperor's question, or there will be executions!"

iTunes: "Emperor, my sincerest apologies. It is the Americans, they do not tell me!"

But before the Emperor could scoff the Americans, the cat somehow jumps up, and opens the door?

Emperor Kefka asks again.

iTunes: "Emperor, there will be a supermassive black hole if they answered you."

Emperor Kefka: "Then let there be a supermassive black hole! Answer me, YOU, controlling iTunes!"

iTunes: "The best that they could say is 7. I do not know what that means."

Emperor Kefka: "I see. Damn Him, that Emperor Hirohito."


	7. Chapter 7: Love Games

Chapter 7: Love Games

iosolomon: "What the fuck is wrong with you guys telling me to have Ryan Anthony executed? Come on, had I said yes, i would have to see it carried out. You are horrible! Horrible!"

sd: "alright, well I'm not going to look at the upcoming songs. I hope you change them live-time."

sd2: "as in I'll be basing my life, nuclear explosions, biological warfare, and the like off of iTunes. ha ha ha PRAISE ALLAH"

sd: "PRAISE ALLAH Brother!" sd2 blows up.

iosolomon: "Terrible lol suicide bombers. sd original doesn't die anymore though. He cannot."

sd: "I guess you could say this is like Le Louche telling his friend to live. i cannot die anymore."

sd3: "It pleases Lord Kefka that Ryan Anthony risked his life to deliver him a message. Ryan Anthony's execution would not have led him to hell, however. Had Lord Kefka ordered it, he would have been forgiven."

sd: "lol why do they keep blowing up?"

Nine Inch Nails: "Bow down before the one you serve, you are going to get what you deserve."

sd laughs.

King Solomon laughs. "I still cannot believe that YOU, iTunes, would tell me to kill a messenger! I thought it would have been a definite no, or an ambiguous song, but instead, it was a definite yes. I could not believe it!"

iosolomon looks at the black flashing light. "I SAW THAT!"

King Solomon laughs. "Remember how foolish we were to conclude the flashing lights were from the Spirits."

King Solomon laughs even more. "I really thought it was from the Spirits, even the Devil Himself."

iosolomon: "I know, it's like the guy who said that was me, I live across the street from you. when I first posted that I saw the orange flashing light, I figured it was from someone else, but yeah, it was probably from one of my across the street neighbors. I wouldn't be surprised if that was John or the new neighbors who wrote that. It seems a little distasteful for John or his wife to post, but the new neighbors, I would definitely bet they made that orange flashing light appear."

King Solomon laughs. "I feel so foolish."

iTunes: "Everybody's Fool." King Solomon laughs.

sd: "iTunes, should I summon CM 1201?"

sd4: "wait, I'm from the dimension where King Solomon is like fuck the real episode wait I am only at pilot episode 29, oh man, everything is so disorganized in the King's world. I blow up now. I have disgraced Allah. Mercy, Allah!"

sd4 blows up. Allah from beyond casts Life 2.

sd4 laughs. "I'm back! Well, this is technically lost pilot episode 32, but what if King Solomon just lies and makes it 29. You need to ask iTunes..."

sd4: "iTunes has ordered my death. Praise Allah!" sd4 blows up now.

King Solomon: "After the death of Sol, oh no!"

iosolomon: "I had a vision over the summer that I was Emperor Sol, Saul. Let's just see the next song."

[On the screen, similar to Scooby Doo Kids with how everyone rocks out. The party starts rocking out to Rack City.]

King Solomon: "You want to know where Rack City is?"

iosolomon: "Yes."

King Solomon looks at iTunes to see if he can say.

King Solomon: "iTunes does not want me to say..."

iosolomon: "Oh, that's Rack City?!"

King Solomon: "Yes."

iosolomon: "Should I tell the readers, er, viewers?...where rack city is?"

iTunes: "Decide it by the flip of a coin."

iosolomon / King Solomon both laugh.

King Solomon: "Very well. We will use three coins. Yes will be..."

sd: "Jesus, I cannot self-destruct anymore. We need to create a new self-destructing character. I do not want every other line to be 'iTunes what should the answer to yes be' iTunes what should the answer to 'no' be. iTunes what should the new self-destructing character the text edit self-destructing character be called?"

iosolomon is displeased. "sd was such a good name for the self-destructing character. please o' wise iTunes!"

sd: "looks like I'm the self-destructing character again. Ok well, I'm about to give iTunes a self-destructing message, but I'll be right back. I've been cursed with Life 3."

King Solomon: "Yes will be heads and no will be tails."

The coins are flipped.

iosolomon: "Rack City is New Detroit."

King Solomon laughs. "What is New Cleveland's nickname then?"

iosolomon, confused, laughs. "Domino City!?"

King Solomon: "Yuck! I hope it isn't filled with Domino's everywhere."

sd: "King Solomon is pleased with my sacrifice that you the readers did not see, but maybe the viewers see it."

King Solomon laughs. "iTunes has spoken. iTunes directed me to a new search engine. New Cleveland's nickname is the Forest City!"

iosolomon: "That's awesome! That's such a fitting name. That means New Cleveland will be such a clean city."

Emperor Hirohito is so pleased that he says, "Oh my god," because He could not believe iTunes actually answered.

Emperor Kefka is displeased. "So this means I won't be executing the thieve's family. Great. Do not please Kami."

King Solomon: "I cannot believe that the story works out. The Moon Goddess was pleased that the People of Cleveland would be getting a new home. And the Moon Goddess, I am to pay Her homage at the Forest when I watch that episode on South Park. I might pay Her homage if iTunes directs me too. So it is only fitting that New Cleveland's nickname be the Forest City. That's awesome!"

Morgan Freeman: "In case if that doesn't make sense, the South Park Prophecy states that King Solomon is pay the Moon Goddess homage at the Forest. And it was also the Moon Goddess who was pleased that the People of Cleveland will be getting a new home. Therefore, it follows, that New Cleveland's nickname would be in Honor of the Moon Goddess - the Forest City."

iosolomon is so pleased that iTunes has answered the King's question. "Now, how about the answer to the other question? Should this be 31? Or should it occur after Lord Kefka's destruction."

King Solomon sighs. "It is time that we go read the Proverbs."

iosolomon, frantic, "iTunes is this what you mean?!"

sd8: "[The Party reads Proverbs.]"

King Solomon laughs.

present-day iosolomon: "Sorry! sd8!" sd8 blows up.

sd: "amplified bible ? since that's a good song to read to, I take that as a yes. you know, I'm not going to blow up here since I cannot die, but sometimes my lines won't make any sense to you if I don't add the title of the song that iTunes picks, that is why I blow up. Allah does not want to make poor King Solomon do more work."

King Solomon laughs. "Terrible, it's just like that vision I have."

iosolomon feels the static. iosolomon gets goosebumps all over. iosolomon sighs. "I see the People of Detroit dying like the People of Los Angeles did in that movie Independence Day, all happy, especially the chick who waited on the rooftop."

sd: "If the city is not Los Angeles, Sage Rat will appear with the correct answer."

Everyone looks to see if Sage Rat appears.

sd5: "iosolomon, while googling the answer because Sage Rat cannot be wrong, says 'lol WHAT?!' when he read 'Captain Hitler'"

iosolomon: "I do not want remember this part. What happened to the scene where the lady is holding up the 'Welcome' sign?"

Sage Rat appears. "Yes, the city is Los Angeles. No, the Captain's name was Hiller, not Hitler."

sd6: "iTunes, why do you play Dragon God right now? what happened to the shuffle feature? why did you turn that off?! damn, sage rat strikes again."

Sage Rat laughs, and leaves.

iosolomon: "Well, I am glad I was able to find the Independence Day script online. I thought I was going to have to re-watch that movie, AND do Bible reading. "

sd7: "sd8 sacrificed himself because there was an error in this chapter!"


	8. Chapter 8: It's Your Life

Chapter 8: It's Your Life

sd0: "iosolomon feels the static at the title of this chapter. iosolomon wonders, 'will there be enough time for me to say good-bye to the People of Detroit and Cleveland?' Because the clock really is ticking, iosolomon cries."

[Now, the Party really reads Proverbs.]

King Solomon laughs, and mumbles 'oh god' at how much of a Jew he is. "It is funny. Proverbs 1.2 is something I already wrote about in these past 30 South Park episodes."

iosolomon: "Such jews we are."

sd9: "Well, King Solomon is more referring to the annotation of Proverbs 1.2 which reads, 'Over the doors of the school of Plato these words were written in Greek, 'Let no one enter who is not a geometrician.' But Solomon opens wide the doors of his proverbs with a special message of welcome to the unlearned, the simple, the foolish, the young, and even to the wise—that all 'will hear and increase in learning' (Prov. 1:5)"

sd: "Hmm, maybe I should have said that. Too many of my brothers are blowing up."

sd10: "It's okay. We read the Book of Ecclesiastes. We are so depressed. We welcome death. Allah welcomes us."

sd and King Solomon laugh.

King Solomon laughs at Proverbs 1.8 "reject not nor forsake the the teaching of your mother." "Well, considering my mother wants to destroy the world, that poses a bit of a conundrum for me."

iosolomon is relieved. "Whew, there's only 31. I thought this was the Book of Psalms 150!."

King Solomon and iosolomon laugh. "Such jews."

Emperor Kefka: "My deadly sin is sloth. Do not make my incarnation read this. iTunes, I demand an end to this folly!"

Emperor Hirohito: "Don't do it, iTunes! This [reading] will heal Emperor Kefka!"

iTunes: "Inspector Gadget. I cannot take sides since you are the same person."

iosolomon: "Well, off to read since sloth is below Shiva's deadly sin of envy."

sd11: "I have to die for the sins of My Mother! PRAISE ALLAH!"

Emperor Kefka: "And I destroy those who are indolent, ignorant, and foolish!"

Abraham: "And I destroy those who Dishonor my wife and Son."

Atman: "And the other deadly sins, well, I could care less."

King Solomon and iosolomon are ANGERED while reading about the 'Baha'l Faith.'

iOSolomon: "GREAT! So that means there really is going to be a third world war."

sd12: "King Solomon tosses his hands up. Meanwhile, iosolomon makes that gesture. King Solomon says, 'no he doesn't [toss his hands]."

King Solomon: "The war to end all wars...I, too, like the Baha'l Faith, advocate for the unity of God, the unity of religion, and the unity of humankind."

iosolomon: "The Ancient Solomonic Prophecy."

Emperor Hirohito: "Great. Proverbs 2.8. Now, the dichotomy begins. Korean Justice versus Japanese Justice."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "Who are you kidding, Emperor Hirohito? You hate the Americans more than the Koreans!"

Emperor Hirohito, trying to fight back, immediately breaks out in laughter. "I have nothing to say to that."

iosolomon: "Why do you allow them to speak?"

Atman: "I do not know."

Emperor Hirohito: "It's true. My heart really does desire forgiveness and mercy unto the Americans. But, it is also true, that Japanese Justice is just as extreme as Korean Justice, in this case."

Abraham: "The Americans did not have a right to use nuclear weapons."

iosolomon: "My heart grows sorrowful that it was a Jew, no less, who developed the nuclear weapon in the first place."

Static: "Germans, in the name of God, carry out His Will, the Japanese, allied with Abraham's Son, carry out His Will in the Pacific Theater. The banished German Jew, both from Germany and Heaven, goes to America, the American government due to their own wickedness, orchestrates an [well I don't even know what to call this, who the hell would KNOWINGLY sacrifice Their citizens like that?]"

King Solomon: "I'm about to cry. Please stop talking of THAT."

Static: "And so the Americans DECLARE WAR AGAINST ABRAHAM HIMSELF! And the Japanese know that they better not disobey Their Father, and are willing to fight to the death."

King Solomon starts to laugh. "I just don't understand. This actually happened. The Americans actually declared War against GOD Himself. And, and the Europeans, and it doesn't make any sense to me. Hitler was just trying to save the People of England, trying to save the People of France. I mean, slaughtering the Ukrainians and Polish, on the one hand, they stand around and watch JESUS die, they are too foolish to stand up for Jesus, but on the other hand, Jesus told them not to do anything, Jesus TRICKED them. I personally feel that the Russians went a little overboard with that. But, it also depends, if the Russians killed them quickly, and relatively painless [unlike the Jewish Holocaust], then that would please Abraham. Oh, do not make me type these horrible words. Do not make me type them!"

iosolomon: "All my life, all my life, I've been haunted, haunted with the fact that if I speak the truth, there wouldn't have been an America. There wouldn't be an Europe. But that was because I was slothful. That was because MY FAMILY was slothful. And this truly does not please Abraham. In fact, Abraham is going to be speaking with Kathleen and Daniel again. If they dare disrespect Abraham..."

Emperor Hirohito: "I will have the vision of the Japanese executing iosolomon's birth parents come true."

iosolomon: "I have been haunted by that all my life. Maybe I'll just stay in my room."

King Solomon laughs. "But it is so funny to me, if I have them executed, they end up in Hell! Why are they so foolish?"

iOSolomon: "Why are you so foolish mom? Why are you so foolish?"

Daniel [the dad]: "Mom's not here right now."

iOSolomon: "Why are you so foolish dad? If I had you executed right now, You would end up in Hell, end up in Hell!"

iosolomon: "Whew, the static is gone. Back to the Bible reading. But Abraham does not like that my birth parents are still being used as sheep, since He knows, that it is YOU who drive them to this childish behavior."

King Solomon, aggravated. "I should just have them executed, because they mocked me. I want them to see what it is like to be judged by Abraham."

iosolomon: "My body trembles. My body trembles because how could I be so cruel to deprive anyone of Their chance to repent, to make right with Abraham. Oh, how could I be so cruel!?"

sd13: "and so iosolomon looks to iTunes for some comfort. and iosolomon thinks, the title of that song isn't good at all. The static does not fade away. His birth parents continue to violate Abraham. iTunes, show our poor atman...and while I was speaking iosolomon clicks through the songs, and Schala appears."


	9. Chapter 9: Wind Up

Chapter 9: Wind Up

Schala, who was walking up the Slam Shuffle Tower. "I found you."

iosolomon: "What is wrong?"

Schala: "The black wind, it is not good."

iosolomon: "What has happened?"

Schala: "Figaro, it has become a desert!"

iosolomon: "What do you mean? It has always been a desert."

Schala: "No, the People of Figaro have become wicked. They, they were consumed by the black wind. The destroyed the forests. But the King stopped the destruction. But it was too late. The Forest of Figaro began disappearing, even as the People tried to replenish it. And now, Emperor Kefka, well, he's going to get SAND in HIS BOOTS!"

iosolomon laughs. "Oh no! That is not good for the People of Figaro."

Schala: "What can they do?"

King Solomon: "They shouldn't say anything. They should just pretend they've always been in a desert."

LMFAO: "YO, we just took some crazy shit. And then there was a portal, and now we're here. Let's get crazy tonight."

Cassie, Akon, and LMFAO do some hard drugs. "Want any?"

iosolomon: "No, I only do marijuana and dmt. I wouldn't mind trying shrooms or acid."

LMFAO:" YO, we got that too. Here."

sd14: "iosolomon looks to iTunes to see if he should party. Or if he should save the wicked people of Figaro. There is a serious plot hole here that iosolomon doesn't feel like fixing."

LMFAO: "OH SHIT! DID THAT DUDE JUST BLOW UP!"

LMFAO: "LIFE!"

sd14: "oh sweet. Thanks. Hey, iTunes, can we party?"

Madonna: "Die another die, sd14!"

50 Cent appears. "Disco Inferno."

[We watch on the screen as the Slam Shuffle Tower starts lighting up in the same FF2 colors. All the cult members, they start worshipping 50 cent and Akon because they are black.]

50 cent: "Whoa, what the fuck?"

Akon: "No, it's all good. They must think we are Prophets or some shit."

sd14: "This doesn't even make any sense. and since I can't blow up, iosolomon is just going to leave it."

Abraham Lincoln sighs. "Proverbs 2.13, those damn Supreme Court Justices. ARGH! I do not want anyone to die!"

Emperor Hirohito: "But no one told them to sin. They did it on their own free will."

iOSolomon: "AND IT"S GOING TO BE ON MY CONSCIENCE! I AM JUST A HUMAN! I AM JUST THE MESSENGER! BUT I COULD HAVE LIED! iTunes, I am so angry. I do not want to keep slamming my hand into the bed post."

King Solomon laughs. "It's a good thing that it's just you speaking, and not Abraham."

iOSolomon; "Fucking jew."

King Solomon: "Whoa, easy there. I mean no harm."

Emperor Hirohito laughs, while iosolomon was doing a reset of the new iTunes shuffle feature, the next song was 'Revenge.' "No, no, I feel bad for your atman. You didn't have the right upbringing to make you a cold, ruthless killer."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "You are in my way. ALL OF YOU!"

The Cult worshippers stop worshipping the Black People, and start worshiping Emperor Kefka. "AH! ANTS!"

"My Lord!" "My Lord!" "My Lord!" They all chant.

sd15: "iTunes, there cannot be a battle, the party needs to escape."

Before Emperor Kefka notices them, 50 Cent's and Akon's worshippers bring them into one of the rooms, and they change into cult clothes. They walk out, and descend the rest of the tower.

iosolomon: "The American in me doesn't want any Supreme Court Justice to die. They know not what they do. If they did know what they were doing - violating the United States Constitution - I don't think they would have done it, do you? I don't think they sit around and say, 'Hey, this violates the United States Constitution.''"

But then King Solomon laughs. "Isn't that what they are supposed to say?! 'Hey, does this violate the United States Constitution?' But they did not do that."

King Solomon's laughter comes to a quick end as iosolomon's heart feels great pain. King Solomon: "I want to teach them. I want to open up the Kingdom of Heaven to ALL! That is what I want."

Emperor Hirohito: "And..."

King Solomon: "NO! Don't speak."

iosolomon tries to return to the Proverbs reading, but all he can hear is the static of death. Abraham is forgiving those who die in the nuclear explosions, but still, iosolomon has to hear this static. It is exactly like a Judge who just has to go through 100s of cases when a new law is passed retro-actively applying to anyone who was negatively affected by it.

iosolomon: "No no no no no no. My heart becomes so sorrowful now. American Jurisprudence is different, King Solomon's Judgment is not to .

but poor iosolomon feels the static. iosolomon would not feel the static if Abraham was to send them all to hell. the static is them getting a second chance. iosolomon cries. he does not want it to be this way. he thinks, 'did i really type this all up? did i really type up 'King Solomon's Judgment' oh, but why , why did i have to type that up about the judges. why, oh, why couldn't I just leave it out. why, oh, why couldn't it just be ... but then iosolomon realizes he just has wishful thinking.


	10. Chapter 10: 99 Problems

Chapter 10: 99 Problems

[And while Abraham's Son is trying to mourn...]

Kathleen: "...have him be evaluated."

Abraham points to Her Soul. "You will go to Hell, Mom. You will go to Hell."

Abraham hardens iosolomon's heart.

iOSolomon: "Do you want to go to HELL?! KATHLEEN!? LADY?! Because I won't give you that chance."

and then iosolomon sees Abraham just sending Her Soul to Hell, pleading, 'No, don't!'

iosolomon: "I have enough on my conscience already. I do not want my heart to be hardened. Now, Emperor Kefka and Emperor Hirohito

ABRAHAM SLAMS HIS HAND IN THE BED POST: "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU KATHLEEN? I WILL EXECUTE YOU AND SEND YOU TO HELL! YOU TOO DANIEL! I WILL HAVE THE JAPANESE EXECUTE YOU AND YOU WILL BE SENT TO HELL! I AM ABRAHAM! I AM GOD!"

King Solomon: "And now I'm returning to this moment, deciding in the after-life, is this SIN of theirs worth forgiving? I have to make that decision. Abraham will follow my decision here since it is my reincarnation that has to suffer. Just like Jesus. I don't know why, Jesus chose to forgive. I don't know why. I would have never forgiven."

iOSolomon: "No, really, now YOU the people controlling my parents are making more work for me in the after-life. I AM returning to this moment. Because I HAVE ALREADY MADE A VOW TO ABRAHAM THAT I DO. From November 29th, onward. The only people in my life who violate the Fourth Commandment are my parents. Why do you use them like sheep? Unlike Ryan Anthony, who I would have forgiven, I will NOT forgive my parents. Because I am a spoiled little brat, and it will please me to watch them suffer, because you know what i like to say, 'I told you so' and I told them over and over and over again, but you know what makes things worse, THEY ALREADY FUCKING KNOW! And this is not pleasing Abraham. I suggest they start worshiping a different god, but it's too late at this point. I do not like having dreams of watching my parents burn in hell. I don't think you understand, they will get sent to hell. this is not a joke."

iosolomon: "This is from Abraham. 'Joseph, please inform my birth parents that they will be sentenced to Hell upon their death. I will show them NO mercy upon their death if they dare anger me again.' And now this is from me, dj, Jose this isn't a joke. My parents are committing after life suicide and they don't even realize it. And the God's honest truth, so are you. I had a dream last night of you burning in hell. I want to prevent that but no one is helping me. But God is not displeased with you. It is my parents that I have dreams every single fucking day they see Abraham, and instantly sent to Hell, I'm trusting you to help them. Abraham is now watching you."

Abraham, unsatisfied, re-possesses MY Soul.

iOSolomon: "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU"

iosolomon: "Ok, really, I am going to kill myself. Ok, Abraham does not want me to violate the Commandments. That is, Abraham does not want me to kill my parents. Instead, Abraham is ordering me to kill myself."

iOSolomon: "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you want me to kill myself you dumb stupid bitch."

Abraham: "Go, and speak with your father."

iosolomon to birth father. "I am only going to say this once. I am being possessed by Abraham, God Himself."

iosolomon: "I don't even know what I said because it wasn't me speaking..."

iosolomon throws his hands in his face.

On the way up, I, after the static was gone, "Thank you father, thank you."

birth father: "Your welcome dj."

iosolomon; "Now all my human feelings return. My hands so cold because I thought I was about to commit suicide."

iosolomon; "What the fuck just happened."

Joseph: "Ok ill talk to them, I know this is real to you. Did they disrespect you in some way? Interrupting you?"

iosolomon: "I was just possessed by Abraham to speak to my dad. My dad was forgiven during that possession, Jose, this is terrible. I tell you the truth, it's like People are playing a game of the Sims with me. Have you ever played that? It's like I get orders to do things like jump in the cold water or drive my car into the woods and I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to see my mother burn in hell but I don't think she realizes, ABRAHAM, is watching...not just me, but them! What the fuck is wrong with you people?"

King Solomon starts to laugh, but iosolomon takes control. "This isn't fun anymore."

King Solomon laughs a little, then realizes, "Oh yeah, they end up in hell."

Abraham is still watching King Solomon. King Solomon is trying his hardest not to laugh.

King Solomon lets out a few more chuckles.

iosolomon: "Great, the static is still there. If I could eat..."

iosolomon is cold now.

King Solomon asks Abraham a question to make him leave. "Why, O' Father, that you would give me such unworthy birth parents?" This question does not please Abraham. Abraham's answer: "They chose to be unworthy."

iosolomon: "Well thanks iosolomon, ha ha, King Solomon for removing the static."

iosolomon sighs. "Back to work."

King Solomon laughs.

iTunes: "Behind blue eyes."

King Solomon laughs again. "It's good to be back."

Limp Bizkit: "No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, the sad man, behind blue. And no one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated, into telling only lies."

but that part hits home with King Solomon. "If I could have told a lie, the Japanese and Koreans would not hate America at this point."

Goosebumps, iosolomon tries to shake away the static. "Close call."

iosolomon hits himself, the pain, to get rid of Abraham.

Atman: "Slap yourself again."

King Solomon: "Oh no, not that."

iosolomon, possessed, does. "Ow!" sounding just like Inspector Gadget from the SNES video game.

iosolomon laughs. "That's what I really sounded like."

sd15: "Should Morgan Freeman come and explain that we will hear that in the tv show when we are watching this?"

sd16: "No, let's go!" sd15 and sd16 blow up.

Joseph: "Yeah, I played the Sims. Would be interesting if they developed the game more."

iosolomon: "I don't know, the gods and goddesses did a pretty good job with ME!"

King Solomon laughs. "Sh! Before Emperor Kefka finds us."

iTunes directs the Party back to Proverbs reading.

sd17: "suicide is my first resort, the embassy is my last resort."

iosolomon sighs. "How am I ever going to fix this up on the edit?"

King Solomon laughs. "Proverbs 2.16 to 2.19 sounds like Shiva. And Proverb 2.19 in particular explains why they get trapped with dharma, but that does not mean they are in a bad place."

sd18 blows up.

iosolomon: "...my head spins in circles."

iosolomon; "now a bit of advice. i will kill messengers. if a judge issues a warrant to have me committed,"

Emperor Hirohito: "If a Judge issues a warrant to have me committed, that Judge who signs the Order is to be executed while I watch. There will, however, be no forgiveness from Abraham."

Emperor Hirohito: "If a police officer tries to use some technicality, even if it's Dan Beierle again, that police officer and any other officer accompanying him is to be executed."

Emperor Hirohito: "If my parents are the ones who call the police, I hope I don't regret saying this, but they too will be executed."

Emperor Hirohito: "I will never pose a physical threat to them...EVER! That is, yes, if iosolomon's character was running around with a knife trying to stab them, I would not ask for their execution if they called the police. However, that will not happen."

King Solomon laughs. "I don't even know why it's funny. It's just like saying, yes, if 2+2-2=2, but then, why are you subtracting two? I would never subtract two, that is why I hope My Korean and Japanese side loses the war that is going on in my mind. But it would not displease me. I just want to bring the world to Star Wars!"

iosolomon: "Well, actually, wouldn't we have more of a Le Louche of the Rebellion War going on first?"

Hitler: "But America ruined that!"

iosolomon laughs. "Well, how nice of you to pay a visit, Hitler, but I am still looking for your reincarnation."

iosolomon returns to Proverbs. "I don't see myself having to make too much more commentary on the remaining chapters, do I, iTunes? The Book of Ecclesiastes was relatively straightforward."

iosolomon: "It is funny, a quick side note, Abraham is just like the Father of Le Louche. The Biblical Abraham looked like that more or less. And, when Abraham was possessing me, and my dad said, 'What do you want me to do' Abraham didn't really know what to do. It's like, one of his Sons, Hirohito, has them lying, still playing the matrix game, but yet, his wife, Shiva, hasn't gotten what she desires yet. so he had to figure, hmm, and therefore, concluded that daniel would tell the truth if pressed, so he decided to leave. forgave daniel since actually my dad doesn't do anything anymore to mock me. I avoid placing my dad in those situations. because the truth is, I cannot stop Abraham in the after-life. You're on your own with what you do now."

iosolomon: "Proverbs 2.21 is the reason why I do not want to nuke more than 2 (or 4) cities. Because the blameless and complete [in God's sight] ARE the Native Americans, at least, the American Native Americans. especially the Cherokee Nation."

iosolomon: "FUCK! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE MESSENGER! I would rather live on the outside of the matrix. I wonder what it is like being Jose. Or my parents. Or Kailie lol. I keep having hilarious flash forwards of watching Kailie's tv show with the Indians but it's not tv, it's real, like i keep seeing crazy indians who don't care if they get executed or abused by kailie. it's so funny lol. and it's like there's Kailie and there's oh no! HOKAILIE RUN!"

King Solomon laughs.

iosolomon, er King Solomon: "But I do not want anyone who is to be nuked [in the first two cities] to have to worry about death. I do not want, for some reason, I keep seeing great sorrow in the Supreme Court Justice's eye, I do not want them to have that. A part of me, ME, King Solomon, does not even want that at all, it is just so harsh, but that is the Asian Justice. In order to achieve unity of God, unity of religion, and unity of humankind, well, you know, i mean, there's the american way of disharmony that i highly considered, there's the way of entropy, not creating a show where America truly apologizes to the world, because although i wouldn't personally care, and I'm sure most people around the world wouldn't care either, there are people, there are nations, cultures, that would be displeased if america took the easy way out. It's a steep sacrifice. Now, the nukings after the first two cities, well either Emperor Kefka becomes Lord Kefka, and all would be forgiven, he would just be doing it for the Koreans, but shh, the key here is you cannot tell the Koreans that you get off easy until after it's done, i mean they can know about the first two cities, but if any other cities, we need to work together, and the korean elite reading this, this is just basic psychology, if the koreans are anything like a former Korean Emperor, well, yeah, but there is also a high chance that Emperor Kefka doesn't chose any more nukings, but the two cities would either be Seattle, Portland, Sacramento, and San Francisco, or just Sacramento and San Francisco. I, me, King Solomon, would add Portland to the list because man, if i had gone my life in ignorance (because my reincarnation path wasn't followed), and couldn't have the right to euthanasia, well that's terrible, and that's a terrible wrong that Dr. Kill? was sent to prison for that. So I am kinda disappointed but I don't want Portland to go. Emperor Kefka, well, you know, with me being the same person, each of my sides can read the other side's mind. And it's like, I will be the one used to justify Portland, but I am, if I could tell a lie, I would not want to nuke portland."

iosolomon: "Hey, why do you guys make the mouse light up randomly at times? What are you trying to communicate with me?"

iosolomon: "Why do I have horrible nightmares of Sacramento, and Denver, going bye-bye? I wouldn't want to do anything to San Francisco because that would SENSELESSLY disrespect the sea spirits. See, if SF goes, then 17 other cities have to go too, and the spirits would not be mad or disturbed, but if SF goes, the spirits are like why SF, why not Dallas? but Dallas I don't have memories of it going away. I figure Kennedy's assassination was probably staged. or if it wasn't the one you call Kennedy will need that to remember. I get goosebumps because I really wouldn't want to senselessly deprive his soul of its right to remember. "

iosolomon: "You have to be kidding me. Does Sacramento and Denver really go bye-bye now? "

iosolomon; "I know it's not Las Vegas, because I had a flash forward of Las Vegas getting its own ocean, its own forest [in time], or maybe like sea, but Sacramento, I just keep hearing 'the Dust Bowl' "

Emperor Kefka is pleased when he gets to tell the Koreans it was all one big show, for THEM!

Emperor Kefka laughs.


	11. Chapter 11: Riot!

Chapter 11: Riot!

iosolomon is confused. "You have to be kidding me?! Now that the Japanese and Korean spirits are outside of me, I can think clearly. And Abraham is gone too. It is just me, King Solomon, and my pure atman, and Shiva [who does not wish to destroy knowing that Her Son gets what he desires], well Shiva isn't really with me per se, she's just like more or less watching, kinda how you watch me, or your children growing up, that is, the truman show lol, or how you watch the characters on the sims, but...the good news is no one has to die! Only the 200,000. Isn't that good?! I mean, if the Japanese Imperial Cult wants to senselessly kill the Americans for fun, or revenge, then Emperor Hirohito does approve. That is not what the gods or goddesses demand, but it is what Emperor Hirohito would demand. but he wants me to say, 'we don't need such senseless slaughtering.' He also wants me to add, '98% of the Americans really don't know what they are doing.' So you see it's very important that the Koreans don't know, kinda how you guys never told me, because I want to see their reactions, I want them to get that release from the gods and goddesses, from the spirits watching them, i want them to enjoy it, to be liberated from the spirits, and then, i want to tell them one day, it was all a joke, there were no people in those cities. The cities were destroyed just for YOU! Just so I could give you a good show! And now I'm here to tell you the best part, the ending, you got to enjoy both the release of the revenge feeling, AND, now you get to feel Abraham Himself's righteousness that no one innocent was killed. But according to Asian Justice NO AMERICAN is innocent, and the harshest, even the Native Americans could be held accountable. up, now Emperor Hirohito and Emperor Kefka are starting to come back because I'm talking about Asia too much."

Emperor Kefka: "But I still do not know what I want to do yet. Do I want to be MERCILESS and send the Americans to Hell? Or do I want to be merciful, and merely put on a good show."

Emperor Hirohito laughs. "I don't know what I want to do either."

iosolomon, speaking with Sigma Freud connecting with Sigma Freud, "You see, the problem we have right now is that the Spirits, Gods, and Goddesses that the Americans Dishonored are still mad, are still angry, They are still with Us. And you can see that, literally, by my writing. One second I'm all like forgive, forgive, forgive, and the other second I'm all like kill kill kill. There is no middle with me. Either, the bare minimum is achieved. Or, the maximum is achieved. Either, and this is terrible for me to type, but either we appease the War God, and the other Gods and Goddesses who are calling for revenge, to the max, that is none of the Americans get a chance to repent, and that truly pleases the Asian side. Oh no, we don't care about making your life while you are living a hell, Emperor Hirohito wants to ENSURE the gods and goddesses get to send you to Hell."

Emperor Hirohito laughs, King Solomon exclaims aloud to chase His Spirit away, "Oh no no no..."

King Solomon laughs. "Asian Justice might sound like it's so wicked, but it is not. It is just so cruel to me being a Jew."

Joseph: Want to chill get something to eat?"

iosolomon: "I would but my parents took my car away. So I'm home bound again."

Joseph: "Ok well I can go there."

iosolomon: "Ok. sounds fun to me. I'm back to normal."

Emperor Hirohito: "If you don't remind me of anything bad like you usually do. I apologize for the other night. That was my half brother speaking. You just caught me at a bad time."

King Solomon: "But I'm a Jew right now."

iosolomon: "And then, the truth of it, the meaningless feeling comes back. Emperor Kefka wants to put me in a pure state of psychosis, pure madness."

King Solomon: "But I, King Solomon, cannot handle that when it ends."

iosolomon: "Yeah, because Emperor Kefka fused with Emperor Hirohito, they don't play games. It would be LAVOS over night."

Emperor Kefka laughs. "At least it's only one country that would get nuked."

Emperor Hirohito: "Even Britain can be forgiven."

Hitler: "I wanted to say that. Even Britain can be forgiven. It is the Americans. We hate the Americans too."

King Solomon laughs. iosolomon: "Go away Hitler."

King Solomon: "I'm trying to save the Americans."

[Oh no, the static!]

Emperor Hirohito: "Hmm. But, if the entire world destroys America, slaughtering every last one of them, except the Native Americans, then there would be a pure balance. The friends, the people in my life, they are not americans since they allied with Japan. But the others. Hmm."

King Solomon begins to contemplate this. "I am an indolent Jew. Then, I wouldn't have to walk."

iosolomon begins to contemplate this. "That's right, there wouldn't be a third world war if America goes. And there wouldn't be Abe's feared civil war."

[Uh-oh! A new solution]

Emperor Hirohito: "The Americans would be forgiven if every last one of them was fighting in the name of peace, even though, it's world fighting for world peace versus America fighting for world peace. They would be on the side of God this time. God vs God. That was one of the questions I asked iching."

King Solomon laments. "But then I never get to play Sim City 5."

Ryan Hemhauser, who is possessed by Hitler says, "But DJ, you can play Sim City 5 all over the rest of the globe!"

King Solomon laughs: "But I want to play it in America!"

iosolomon: "Who the hell is Dave Beierle? Which of the 13 does he represent?!"

The Yellow Spirit is also pleased with this.

King Solomon: "Great, so now I have 12 brothers, and 1 Father, who are pleased by this solution..."

iosolomon: "I'm still with you King Solomon. And don't forget, the Baha'l are still with you...I think? Considering that the Abraham God is pleased with the solution, I wouldn't really know what the Baha'l do. It's like destroy America within 3 years, and bam, the world is united, or spare America, and bam the world has to fight each other."

iosolomon: "Abraham is pleased because the American sacrifice would not be forgotten in the after-life."

Abraham Lincoln: "Don't look at me. I have already numbed my heart."

iosolomon: "This is terrible. Why am I typing this up? No, lol, why are you watching this on tv?"

South Park Creators appear. No. Sage Rat, Emperor Gestahl, Noah, I need you to appear! I will look to 14 songs, and will tally up your vote. Each song will be either a 1 (go-ahead) o no-go, and one song will be the song you chose to appear.

Genesis 18. Hmm .Ok I'll listen to it. But I don't want to keep Jose waiting again.

King Solomon: "I do not like to make people wait. That is one of my greatest fears. I like to be punctual. In fact, the first thing I did when I made that guy wait 20 minutes was apologize. I felt so bad. It's like, his time, in the eyes of God, is as important as God's time."

iosolomon: "So this is terrible lol."

iosolomon: "Do I have to listen to this? " iosolomon looks at the upcoming selections to see if there is an answer of no. but the answer is actually yes. iosolomon is tempted to plead ignorance.

"No but you did laugh" lol.

iosolomon: "Yeah, All the Nations should be blessed."

Abraham: "But I would be blessing America if that is what You decide, Child."

iosolomon: "Great..."

King Solomon laughs. "Not this chapter, ha ha."

iosolomon: "It's exactly what we need to hear before Sage Rat appears."

iosolomon: "I bet that I could find 5 million righteous in America. Oh, now what do we do."

King Solomon: "Stop lying to the readers. There is no way You chose America's downfall. There will be the third world war."

Hitler: "I will lead the entire Nation of Germany to destroy America if She doesn't get Her bases out of here."

present-day Hitler, or the German in me, laughs hysterically at that. "It's true."

iosolomon: "Ok, I get it, so the entire world hates America."

Abraham Lincoln: "It bothers me that America has bases all over. Now, if America was to have a base in the Middle East, for example, to protect the Muslim girl from a brutal rape, IF SHE SO CHOSE to abandon Her Faith, and America wanted to fight to protect that One girl's right, that would be a different story. But what is America doing here? They do not have bases in the Middle East to protect the innocent or the meek."

iosolomon: "And now, we tally up Sage Rat."

CM 5000: "Wait, you are not adding enough South Park characters into the story."

iosolomon: "I know. But that's because I think I am going to have to make a new tv show, and get rid of the South Park characters, since they still haven't offered me any money. I'm a broke [censored to keep this K+] up jeeves like black josh said that one time but that isn't what black josh said, I just misunderstood."

[The Party watches iTunes summon Sage Rat.]

sd14: "no, summon ALL of his past characters."

sd: "Yeah."


	12. Chapter 12: Summoning Sage Rat!

Chapter 12: Summoning Sage Rat!

iosolomon; "Ok, each of these songs, I am going to summon a past life of Sage Rat."

sd18: "I don't know if I'm number 18 but it doesn't matter, I blow up anyways. I am going to write down the names of each iTunes song first, then I'll attach one of Sage Rat's character to that. The totality of all his characters votes will then get one song picked by the current reincarnation to select one song.

1. Good Rockin' Molly Hatchet, Flirting with disaster

2, Beating the Odds, Molly Hatcher, Beating the Odds

3. The World aRound You, Papa Roach, the Paramour Sessions

4. Slide, Good Goo Dolls, (no name)

sd19: "oh thanks for that last song, that character can be nameless lol"

5. Revelations, God, New Testament

6. Jump in the Fire, Metallica, Kill 'Em All

7. Final Fantasy 8 Final Boss, Final Fantasy, (No name)

sd20: "Yeah, I think I know who you would be in this game, but maybe not."

8. don't stop believing, Journey, (No name)

Peter: "Hey, it's Journey"

9, Genesis 27, NKJV Dramatized, 01 Genesis

10. som_sad1, Secret of Mana, (No name)

sd21: "You know this isn't a bad selection)

11. FF6_33_Aria_de_mezzo, Final Fantasy 6, (No name)

sd22: "oh man, you couldn't have made my job any easier with this song)

12. Charlie the Unicorn-Candy Mountain, MySpace, Kailie's song,

sd23: "You know, I knew that this song made it into South Park, but I was wondering under what circumstances. Guess that answers that."

13. "She will be loved" Maroon 5, Songs about Jane

14. Genesis 48, NKJV Dramatized, 01 Genesis

sd24: "Well, now we have to figure out the order, and the people who you are."

Madonna: "Hey Mr. DJ, put a record on."

1. iosolomon: "Hmm, one more person. Who else was Sage Rat" iosolomon, thinks, yells out "OH YEAH! That's perfect." Sage Hamster (cause Sage Rat wants to evolve.) 2. Nostradamus 3. Shakespeare 4. (no name) 5. Sage Rat (cause we at the end of time) 6. Behemoth (not really Sage Rat , but it's a summon he has cause Sage Rat is BEAST) 7. FuYoSa sd: "since ff8 had time travel and shit in it" 8. hmm, family guy, who would you be, well, i'll just say you're chris cause that's how you would be if you were fat. 9. Wait, this is Noah. sd14: " 10. you would have to be the Sprite character in this game. 11. Emperor Gestahl 12. Brian Koening 13. Meg (not you either, but this is his girlfriend, of course she would be called, why would brian want this decision to be decided by his past lifes if i got them correctly) 14. Obadiah, not sure if this was you, but you guys keep playing it.

iosolomon; "Alright, so this is how it works, the following songs you speak for each of those characters. Brian Koening's and Meg's vote count as 1. However, in the even Meg and Brian vote differently, Meg's vote supersedes cause Brian is everyone else lol"

[The epic vote]

iosolomon laughs. "Despite the contract I have, I will be using iTunes in this case to determine if there should be nuclear, biologolcai, and whatever else it said haha. America, how does it feel that you're being decided by what music plays on my iTunes?

King Solomon laughs. "I bet not too good."

1. Sage Hamster. Demon Speeding, Rob Zombie, The Sinister Urge, "Yes, destroy."

iosolomon: "Whoa! Sage Hamster? What happened?"

Sage Hamster: "I evolved. I was only a Rat because of my American upbringing."

iosolomon: "OHHHHH! That makes sense. Cause I could have sworn you would have voted yes."

2. Nostradamus, Never Too Late, Three Days Grace, One X, "I will vote how the 10th character votes."

sd14: "the length of the song was 3:31 which we established in a prior episode as being 3x3+1=10."

3. Shakespeare, Bob Marley, Stir It Up, Legend, "I want to make America into a Legend, I vote yes."

sd14: "By the way, if I get the votes wrong, well, that's your fault! But what is written, is it."

4. (no name), Drilled A Wire Through MY Cheek, Blue October, Foiled "..."

King Solomon laughs. "He has no name."

sd14: "We will come back to character 4 if his vote would make a difference, to first, learn who he is, and to learn of how he votes"

sd: "hmm why did you just type hate but then you self-destructed it?"

5. Sage Rat: "wha wha"

iosolomon: "What, that's impossible..."

sd14: "This vote is a return to it, because this is Sage Rat."

6. Behemoth, You've Lost That Loving Feeling, Hall & Oates, Best of Looking Back, "DESTROY!"

7. FuYoSa, Battle_theme2, FF7, (No name), "No, I do not vote for destruction."

8. Chris, FF6_22_Celes_2, Final Fantasy 6, (No Name), "I do not want to destroy either." he says in the typical chris voice.

sd: "I am glad some of these characters have votes of no to keep it interesting haha. Very clear for the last two, although I would have voted them no no matter the song because that is not how they would vote."

9. Noah, Behind Blue Eyes, Limp Bizkit, Results May Vary,

King Solomon laughs before Noah even speaks. "You're so predictable Noah." Noah's vote is an abstention. Noah actually votes however Abraham votes, but Abraham is looking to Noah first.

10. Sprite from SOM, America, Fuck Yeah, Team America, Team America Soundtrack, Sprite: "Yes."

iosolomon: "Well, that's a pretty clear song." Wait, is that supposed to be a vote of no? Wel'll return to this."

11. Emperor Geshatl, King Solomon starts laughing before Emperor has a chance to speak,

WEAPON_Raiding_Midgar, Final Fantasy 7, No Name, "FOR THE EMPIRE! Emperor Kefka was right all along!"

12. Brian Koening, Smooth Criminal, Alien Ant Farm, Anthology, "[Girlfriend's name], how do you vote?"

13. Meg, We Gotta Get Out of this place [ mono] the animals, the singles+ (Disc 1), Meg: "That's a no from me."

14. Obadiah, We Like the Cars THat Go Boom, Le Tigre, Kailie's Songs, "Yes."

iosolomon: "CM 5000, can you do this for me."

CM 5000: "1. Yes. 2. Re-vote 3. Yes 4. Re-vote 5. Re-vote 6. Yes. 7. No. 8. No. 9. Re-vote 10. Re-vote 11. Re-vote, I suspect He might be Emperor Kefka's control. 12. No. 13. Yes."

CM 5000: "4 for yes, 6 re-votes needed, 3 votes of no."

iosolomon: "Interesting. Yeah, I couldn't righteously cast a vote for some of them. iTunes, who do you want to start with first?"

iTunes: "Go in order starting with 2."

iosolomon: "Nostradamus, do you still wish to cast your vote with 10, or do you wish to place a vote?"

Nostradamus: "I will cast my second vote however number 10 does."

iosolomon: "Please identify yourself #4."

#4: "I am #4."

sd44: "Really, is that who you want #4 to be?"

iTunes: "Yes."

iosolomon: "How do you vote #4?"

#4: "I am actually Saint Nicholas."

iosolomon: "How do you vote, Saint Nick?"

#4: "I am a robot."

iosolomon: "Are you going to vote? We do not discriminate against robots."

#4: "I vote no, how Jesus would vote."

iosolomon: "Sage Rat, would you like to vote, or should we return to you?"

Sage Rat: "I will vote at the top of the mountain."

iosolomon: "Great, so that means the votes are going to be tied."

iosolomon: "Noah, it is your turn to cast a vote of yes or no."

Noah: "The love is gone to those who violate God's Commandments. Destroy, Yes."

iosolomon: "Sprite, your vote counts as two. How do you vote?"

Sprite: "Come back to me again. I hurt my hurt."

iosolomon: "Emperor Gestahl, are you under mind-control?"

Emperor Gestahl: "No, I just want to know what if God was one of us. I vote no."

iosolomon: "Why did you vote yes before?"

Emperor Gestahl: "I was being watched, but not now."

iosolomon: "Re-tally up the votes."

CM 5000: "5 for yes, 2 re-votes, 5 votes of no."

iosolomon; "This time, I ask you Sprite, first."

Sprite: "What's my name?"

iosolomon: "Sprite?"

Sprite: "Then I cast my vote for yes. I want revenge!"

iosolomon: "Nostradamus, how do you wish to vote?"

Nostradamus: "I vote the opposite of number 10. I vote no. That is what the Prophecy spoke of. If Sprite voted no, I would vote yes."

iosolomon: "I see. Well, Sage Rat, now what?"

Sage Rat: "I give you the run around."

King Solomon: "If he votes yes during his evolution, he votes yes now. Don't play the Sage's game."

iosolomon: "So then it's decided, Sage Rat's soul wants to destroy America."

iosolomon: "Well, now we have a really big party."

iosolomon; "iTunes should we travel back into the past?"

But before iTunes could appear. The greatest moment in American history comes.


	13. Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

King Solomon laughs at Proverbs 11.10. "A harbinger of what's to come..."

RON PAUL APPEARS!

All the cult members start singing,

sd: "now that's pretty cool the song got added to the end of the brady bunch. Wow, look at that Sage Rat saves the day!"

King Solomon: "Well, we cannot violate the South Park Prophecy. It was already written into the they even got the timing right. Amazing."

iosolomon: "Man my life just got a whole lot easier."

Kwame: "EARTH!"

Wheeler: "FIRE!"

Linka: "WIND!"

Gi: "WATER!"

Ma-TI: "HEART!"

Together: "GO PLANET!"

Captain Planet: "By your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!"

The cult members start singing: "Captain Planet, He's our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero, he's our powers magnified, and he's fighting on the planet's side. Captain Planet. He's our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero, gonna help him put a sunder to bad guys who like to pollute and plunder."

Evil villains: "You'll pay for this Captain Planet."

The Planteers: "We're the planteers, you can be one too. Cause saving our planet is the thing to do. Polluting and polluting is not the way, hear what Captain Planet has to say."

Captain Planet: "The power is yours!"

Emperor Kefka laughs. "Now there's a fly!"

Emperor Kefka casts Fire 3.

Captain Planet is able to absorb Fire. It restores HP.

Emperor Kefka summons Shiva.

But Captain Planet is able to absorb Ice. It restores HP.

Emperor Kefka: "ARGH! THUNDER 3!"

But Captain Planet is able to absorb that as well. It restores HP.

Emperor Kefka: "Very well. METEO!"

The Sky is engulfed with Meteo bombs landing everywhere. Captain Planet is knocked out of the sky.

Linka, in her Asian accent: "Oh no!"

Then, the other Planteers are killed!

But, Linka is revived. Instead, it is Winona LaDuke repeating: "Oh no!"

Emperor Kefka laughs. Emperor Kefka casts Shiva on Winona LaDuke. She is frozen!

Emperor Kefka laughs.

Setzer appears with his ship.

Setzer: "HURRY! Jump on!"

Chef: "IT'S MY PEOPLE'S SHIP!"

Chef also jumps.

and then Joseph comes in.

[To be concluded]


	14. Chapter 14: Fortune Faded

Chapter 14: Fortune Faded

present-day iosolomon, while looking at Sage Rat's broken glass piece: "so fucking sage rat son of bitch set me up with that kid breaking his glass piece."

present-day iosolomon: "Hmm maybe I shouldn't have pointed out the noises. I wouldn't want them to stop."

King Solomon reads: "But that light it called me son." and laughs, "But that's so funny."

King Solomon, holding in laughter cause he cannot get into the correct state of psychosis, "You people are ridiculous" are they not only make the tv crack, but they also shine both computer flashing lights, and the flashing lights outside, and they even did a cool flashing light lol another one now looked like a falling meteor, what how many people have access to these flashing lights lol. I just saw the blue one again. that one was my favorite because it showed up at the hospital at one of the better moments when i told my mom that Hirohito would go down with the cities. That's his pure atman, that is."

King Solomon laughs, "They made the monitor crack again."

King Solomon: "Ah, is it because the weed they are able to make more flashing lights? I've noticed that the flashing lights only come if i can get my eyes in the right focus."

King iosolomon: "y=0 is a solution."

King Solomon is laughing, but then stops laughing at his own stupidity. "I forgot that I wrote that or my possession wrote it. Now my possession processed it. I am no longer displeased with the Brits."

"It was not until Hitler appeared to me that I realized."

King Solomon laughs. "This is terrible the Jews outsmarted the Americans. They made them lower in the eyes of Abraham."

king Solomon starts to laugh really hard. "Oh my god my god that's so fucking funny. Who would ever fall for such a thing " lmao "They are more hated than the jews" ok that's not funny cause I'm living in this country. but yet I laugh.

King Solomon stops laughing. Gets the sinking feeling in his stomach.

But then, King Solomon cannot stop laughing. "What the fuck. What the fuck did you jews do?"

King Solomon keeps laughing. mumbles "This is so funny Jose."

"This is horrible man whereas I used to hate the jews a week ago, I am now laughing at American I am more laughing at what Abraham is going to do with the Americans because of the Jews."

Jose interrupts the King's laughter. "Are you okay?"

King Solomon, abruptly ends laughing. "You're horrible, you just ended my laughter."

King Solomon chuckles a bit more. Clears his throat. "Back to reality, "

King Solomon is bewildered. "Really, what the fuck did the jews do here? Because Abraham, He hates the Jews, but now, He has such a head-ache from the Americans. "

"Freud, Einstein, evil people lol. Of course they are going to tell you god isn't real. "

King Solomon stops laughing because this is just pure stupidity. This is the type of stupidity that his brother Kefka wants to destroy. And, on a solemn note, this is the type of stupidity that leads to the dropping of nuclear weapons on cities, and worse, nuclear warfare.

King Solomon laughs a bit more. "There was a person on youtube who is like Einstein didn't believe in God."

"Well, then i don't think he was a Jew or whatever the person said. It was a really stupid comment. Is that how Americans actually think? The people in my life, I mean I knew they were all acting and shit, but it's like, now I don't know if stupidity actually exists. But stupidity i mean the Canadians, WW2."

"So this is what I've been searching for. Finally, answers...even though i explained this to my friend Justin before."

"I wish i could remember those words before. That's the truth of it. "

It's like all those times you snicker at something i can't even think of an analogy.

Now my stomach gets the meaningless feeling. Well, that was good for some quick laughs. Hey, and no one had to die, except, now we go back DOWN the tree. Luckily, I wrote it all down. Wow, DJ becomes Paladin. lol.

i mean, that's why i wonder if I really am Hirohito. Because Hirohito he was definitely the architect of this system.

But I would 100% assert that I was King Solomon. 98% assert Abraham Lincoln. and 88% assert I was Emperor Hirohito. with a 60% possibility of being Hitler, no make that 40%. And less than a 0% of being Jesus Christ. But if you were to tell me that I was actually Jesus Christ, that wouldn't be good at all because then, then I would have justification. Then, the Americans would be fighting the world period.

iosolomon wants to laugh, but then, iosolomon does not want to laugh because "If I am Jesus Christ, AHHH!"

iosolomon: "It's like this. If I was Abraham, I would chose to keep America. If I was Jesus, there would no more America."

iosolomon's stomach sinks a little as he thinks of the possibilities.

"Then, I could play Sim City 5 with people who don't make me feel ashamed to live. The Native Americans! Imagine them trying out my circle cities. The ones where there's no more lights and shit. Just circles, circles, circles! Of course, we would have to do something with the blind spot issue for that world. Or make it illegal to go below a speed limit. Lol, but I would love to make Circle City. It might prove to be a disaster."

iosolomon: "Oh God. I really do hope I am Abe."

iosolomon: "Yeah, I have 0 recollection of being crucified. I would have destroyed the world THEN. Ok, so unless if Jesus Christ Himself wants America destroyed, We, will have to chose Forgiveness and Mercy. If America choses to clean up."

But then, the side of me called Jesus Christ is a bit sadden. Lord Kefka.

and now this state of bliss i was in subsides. "Oh, woe is the fate of America."

iosolomon: "And did the casino use automatically changing dice? Those times I lost? Like what if the die change. That worries me though cause then you get a coin toss like you do in FF6. Not a fair game!"

iosolomon: "Jose"

Jose: "What."

iosolomon: "I'm not Jesus, right?"

Jose: "That is correct."

iosolomon laughs. "Because you know, if I was Jesus, ha ha ha, there wouldn't be ha ha ha be any more ha ha ha America left. And ha ha ha I would welcome the Jews back home for being oh so wise."

iosolomon: "No, really, they got 12 of the 13 children to hate America! I am the last one."

iosolomon: "Man, if it wasn't Emperor Hirohito Himself, I felt so dumb buying His 'enlightened peace' bullshit. You honestly just don't use nukes in warfare. Didn't even give the enemy a chance for their individual gods and goddesses. There is nothing wrong with the Dragon God, Sun God, and Moon God. And definitely not anything wrong with Allah. I would call Him the Fire God! Or Flare God. Flame God. So warm. Eternally. Although, I should say, He choses mercy and forgiveness. But he's either the same as Jesus, and hence one of the original, or he was the grandson who went such a horrible fate (like Jesus) that he was made a separate God.

goosebumps descend as i think about how the world changes.

iosolomon: "You know what I miss though."

Jose: "Yeah, what?"

iosolomon: "I miss DMT."

iosolomon: "That feeling of the world changing."

iosolomon: "My world is about to change. I don't know if I'm ready for it."

iosolomon: "I mean, Le Louche had a great world. He had a special power. Sometimes, I wonder if they were all just acting. That is, they knew he couldn't really 'mind-control' them, they just did so voluntarily because He was the Sun Himself. I think of the scene with the Professor. That keeps coming to mind. "

Dancer: "The King does not allow us to dance anymore...are you sad?"

King Solomon: "I am the King of Heaven. You can dance. If Your King does not allow you to. Hm, That is such a terrible world that they live in."

Emperor Kefka: "And 100% chance that I am Emperor Kefka." Emperor Kefka laughs!


	15. Chapter 15: Time of the Season

Chapter 15: Time of the Season

iosolomon laughs. "They made a show, Le Louche of the Rebellion, that nails my personality to the wall in the anime!"

King Solomon: "Oh, please, Jinn, oh please! Have those two thieves, in any way, make right with Me!"

King Solomon: "It does not matter their intent, Judgment Day is upon us! I do not want Abraham to be angry!"

King Solomon: "Abraham is most righteous and honorable. He truly does not wish to kill! He truly does not wish to punish! Those are the Wills of His Sons!"

King Solomon: "I should not have to, in bad conscience, order the execution of anyone! What purpose would that serve? If it is for a good laugh, then I want that sacrifice to lead them to Heaven, like the sd characters in this story!"

[And on that note, King Solomon starts to laugh.]

King Solomon: "Wait, I shouldn't be asking the Jinn, because the Muslims, oh man, I tell you, it's just like Episode 1."

iosolomon: "Before my heart is consumed by sloth, I must finish my Proverbs reading! The prophesied Bible reading that I smoked of. Ha ha, spoke of!"

King Solomon: "I want Proverbs 3.12! I love ALL People! God created you, did He not?"

King Solomon: "But Proverbs 3.13, although funny to me at first, now makes me sad. Meaninglessness!"

King Solomon: "My greatest fear is this, 'Do you want those who have wronged you executed,' and then, Abraham, Himself, will pay a visit, 'If I was to order the executions, how long until they carried out,' and if the answer is, 'As soon as possible,' Abraham, Himself, would remain. I do not want that! Because it will return to my human conscience [when Abraham leaves]! But, if they ask that question, and all has been made right, then Abraham will answer, 'No,' or consider the question, and answer 'No,' and I see that happening in my future. Buy my heart, my body, beats fast, because I can wait until summer if that is wen the Japanese want, but Abraham does not have to wait with Me. I laugh, because I am just a puppet. It does not matter to Abraham if the end of time is December 21st, 2012, He is going to use that for 'Judgment Day' for the players in my life, not the behind the scenes one, the ones who for whatever reason chose to play this game. I laugh, because it does not make sense to me. I would not walk in front of someone with a loaded gun. Or, in this case, should I say, someone, hmm, I cannot think of a good analogy. Because I was going to say, I would not walk in front of someone who was pointing a blank gun, but they had bullets, I mean, in that case, I would be able to see if they were loading the gun, then, but still, maybe they load fast, if i was far enough away. Yes, that is what I shall say, I would not walk in front of someone at a firing range after they finished firing, because how do I know, they aren't reloading the gun while we speak? I will be 'loading' my gun on December 21st, tip-toeing around. But only two people need to be executed, Abraham, has decided, in the event that, He is still in the matrix. But, there are other ways those people can make up if the matrix is still going on, it'll just be so weird to me. I, King Solomon, would just rather have..."

King Solomon: "...the game to be over, and a new one is played. It'll be the end of FF1, FF2, and FF3, and we'll be at present-day FF4 lmao."

King Solomon, muses, "But if you are actually able to read my mind, then that means I am God." And then there were the crackling sounds of the tv. King Solomon muses, "That could have just been a coincidence. They see me resting, maybe they were trying to get me to get up. But if I was God you would be able to read this exactly how it is...[another part of my brain: before I even finish my thoughts]]" and then while King Solomon was finishing his thoughts, we hear more crackling noises, "how it is before I even finish my thoughts." King Solomon's eyes pop wide open, thinking, "What the fuck. It cannot be." Then King Solomon thinks, "Mha mha mha mha mha mha [the Jew laugh]" and now thinks "Well, I forget what I was about to say, but if they could read my mind, then Blankie would appear. Oh great, flashing light."

Blankie appears. "ha ha ha, don't worry, that always happens to me."

King Solomon muses, "Guess I'm still trapped in the matrix. This one has no weed."

King Solomon: "Although, the best, would be to have one big show. We should have the Koreans bomb Sacramento and Denver. BAM BAM BAM! The lies could be the War with Japan. Japan moves forward. The communications are cut-off. The Korean Military is called in, they fly, they take out Sacramento. And then they take out Denver! But no one is in those two cities, they just don't know. Then, the Americans capitulate. The Koreans saved the day!"

Emperor Kefka laughs. "My, you have a wild, wishful imagination."

King Solomon: "Provers 5.11 and 5.12 is exactly what Abraham bitches and moans about."

King Solomon laughs, wondering what has happened to poor Abe Lincoln. "Perhaps, he is still with the Amish?"

Abe Lincoln: "No, I'm here. I just..." Abe sighs.

King Solomon: "I know what you need, Abe. A trip to the Amish will revitalize your spirits."

King Solomon muses over possible solutions to the Korean problem. One of them makes Emperor Kefka laugh.

Emperor Kefka: "That might please me, King Solomon."

iosolomon and Sigma Freud laugh, too.

Emperor Hirohito brings them to this moment in time, in a parallel dimension. King Solomon laughs more.

King Solomon lets out the end of the laughter sigh. "And then it would be over!"

Emperor Kefka: "Hmm."

Emperor Kefka: "I do not like that you are doing your reading! Be slothful!"

Emperor Kefka reads, 'treasuries,' "Yes, what about the destruction of Knoxville!"

The party is uneasy. They ignore this.

King Solomon reads Provers 9.11, exclaims aloud, "Yeah! Yeah! That's what I want!"

King Solomon says to His Brothers, "Besides, isn't it YOUR fault that America is now below the Jews?!"

But King Solomon starts to laugh. Sighs. "Oh jeez, the Americans sold their souls to the Devil."

Benjamin: "It is not fair that you did not include me in the vote. You replaced my vote with Mother's. I vote no."

King Solomon considers the words of His Brother. "Even if Ron Paul is not President?"

Benjamin: "Yes."

King Solomon feels foolish for asking the question since it was obvious how Benjamin would have answered.

King Solomon laughs. "Why did I type that up?"

King Solomon: "But Proverbs 9.12 is what will remain on my conscience if my 'wicked' brothers win."

King Solomon laughs that the computer made a crackling noise to that. "They are listening..."

iosolomon: "Actually, we are on tv. They are watching."

King Solomon laughs. "Why am I typing this up?"

"Great," thinks King Solomon, "now the meaningless feeling returns,

iosolomon wonders, "Does it actually happen? Because I really don't know what I'm going to do. I do not want to go back to Rutgers still inside the matrix. I would be happy to go back to Rutgers if the matrix is over."

Emperor Hirohito: "Yes, I would like to broaden my understanding of economics and philosophy..."

iosolomon, interrupts Emperor Hirohito, to finish his thoughts, "just like the New Horizons prophecy spoke of."

King Solomon sighs. "The beginning of the second circle, now if only we can end the first one!"

iosolomon smiles. "Hey, at least Shiva isn't yelling at us now."

King Solomon does not know anymore. "Proverbs 10.3. Is it not wicked of the Jews for their desire to return to Heaven to socially engineer the nuclear weapons to even the problems in the Middle East to be able to point to the Americans, and say to Abraham, 'but look, did they not chose the Devil on their own accord, Father? We are banished from the Kingdom of Heaven. We did not cause them to sin, We only did what the Devil did to Adam and Eve. There would be no wickedness if there was no wickedness in America!' although I do not know how you would say this to Abraham, but I find it brilliant! In the year 2012, the Jews are less culpable than the Americans. They have paid their price, in blood, in torture! and some, in excruciating torture!"

But then King Solomon laughs, "The Americans thwarted the Will of God. And now what does God do?!"

Benjamin: "The Americans knew not what they did, besides, couldn't we blame this all on Abraham [Lincoln]!"

Abraham Lincoln: "Hey, don't look at me! The Americans were violating the Constitution."

King Solomon laughs, "So they were wicked even before WW2. Benjamin, what did YOU create?!"

Benjamin looks away. He has no reply to that.


	16. Chapter 16: Forward!

Chapter 16: Forward!

sd14: "I'm going to stop at Proverbs 10 for now. iTunes, I have lots of work to do. How do I even fix this? Should I go through 29, the Miscellaneous Space Time Continuum, break that up into a second part, 'I am Emperor Kefka Part 1," and title this 'I am Emperor Kefka Part 2?"

[At the opera, because Setzer was busy saving the others, he did not show.]

Celes [behind the scenes]: "Uh, where is he? Wasn't I supposed to be kidnapped?"

Terra: "I am not sure."

Director: "Celes! Are you ready?! Hey, who is this?"

Before Terra could speak.

Director: "It is not important. The show must go on! Hurry!"

The Director leaves.

Celes: "Uhm, Terra, I do not know my lines. I only memorized Part 1. What should we do?"

Before before Terra could answer, the Prophet 50 entered.

Prophet 50: "I am the Prophet 50. You're in the club now."

King Solomon laughs.

Director: "NOW! Celes!"

Celes wonders: "How did he ever learn my real name?"

Prophet 50: "I told him."

Celes: "Amadeus, Amadeus,

where art thou?

I am here,

but you have not come!"

"Oh, but, I wonder,

will you ever return?

Will I ever get to be?

in those loving arms of yours!"

[And then the wind blows]

"Is that you?"

[But there is no answer]

"I do not know what to do,

being here, without you."

[The Prophet 50: "Shit, she needs our help!" He tosses her weed.]

"Oh?! A gift?!"

[Celes picks up the gift. She smells it.]

[The Prophet 50: "You have to eat it!"]

"This, has your spirit!

I will now consume,

this gift you have brought.

I desire to be with you...again. My love!"

[Celes eats the gift.]

[End of Scene 2]

Director: "No! No! No! Heresy! Those were not your lines!"

But the audience is clapping, cheering,

Director: "Ah, I've never seen such a reaction out of the audience. This is great! You are wonderful! You are a star! Get ready for Scene 3!"

[But because Scene 3 will actually require iosolomon eating the same quantity of weed that Celes has eaten, this will not occur until that happens.]

[Back on the ship]

sd14: "so what should I do? Should I work on Miscellaneous Space Time Continuum? 29, and 30, 31 are Kefka's?

Should this be 32? or part of 31? ok Version 3, I take that as part of 31?"

I would like to add the Fin / end then. Is this the Fin / end of I am Emperor Kefka Part 2"? Part 4? No, Part 2 you say. Ok one final question. Should I put "I am Emperor Kefka" Part 2? To me that seems sloppy, it was in quotes for "I am Emperor Hirohito" because he was technically speaking through Kefka, you know, like Kami speaking through Piccollo. Glad we are on the same page lol."

Fin / end of I am Emperor Kefka Part 2


End file.
